Some Sizzling Scintillating Speculations

Hi,all!!This month, a major excitement for expat pros was the rush to get their ID cards. It was announced that those who do not get their cards by the 28.02, could have difficulties in using government services. So,all those who had not gone to the ID card centres for their cards, were early morning (Some, from midnight)queues all around the country,to get their cards. ---- These ID cards will soon replace all other cards, like health cards,labour cards,et al. In fact, it seems like they might become what a friend from the US calls their social security numbers- a Qaidi no. So, all your information gets electronically stored via these cards. On these lines, someone circulated a hypothetical future situation which had me LOLling,but, may well become reality. So, here goes:(In fact, I heard they are talking of such cards in India,too..so, beware!!) --- Operator: 'Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your....' Customer: 'Helloo, can I order..' Operator : 'C...

There was a time when I :  Would select the Noddy books which I did not have, at Allies’ book stores, and inform each Uncle one of the serial numbers from 1 to 24 accordingly. (We couldn’t afford to buy them all-they cost a princely Rs 4 to Rs 8!). Would look suitably thrilled when the books were given to me, duly marked’With best wishes from…’. Would select Famous Five / Five Findouters/Hardy Boys books.  Same reaction as in the case of Noddy. haha.  (And, in this way, my books and comics collection continued growing.Haha) Would distribute the simple variety of chocolates in school and the other batchmates would go into singing mode, while I looked on shyly. Was in Kirloskar Pneumatic, Pune one year, for an inspection with a Consultant and reached Mumbai at 10 PM, to find that my relatives were still waiting for me to return. Was in EIL, Delhi , for a meeting and had to tell them what day it was, so that they would let me go early. Was in UHDE, India for a meeting an...

I was enjoying my tea at Bombay Chowpatty(But naturally) and was amused to hear this conversation from the next table. --- Little kid, sharply dressed in a kurta-pyjama,must've been 4 or 5 yrs old. He's friskily jumping about, and Daddy suddenly gets up. "Who wants this Galaxy chocolate?" 'Kiddo naturally jumps happily'. Daddy:"First you finish your lunch" Kid turns towards plate.  Daddy quickly peels off the wrapper. Bites off half of the chocolate bar. Kiddo looks stunned. Their friend who's with the family of three also looks astonished. Daddy(By way of explanation): "Eni paase chhe ek chocolate"(He has a chocolate), and proceeds to put the bar in his pocket. Me:*no wonder, a Gujju baniya", and I grin away at the first laugh of the day!!Wonder whether the lil kid got his chocolate finally. I almost wanted to get one for him when I saw his face when Daddy was munching half of it.LOL. Just proves- we can all be kids at heart in di...

Hi,all!!Another fast-moving week. Have been just eating,dreaming,sleeping work!!So,while I write the next post, here's something which inspired me on this last working day, just as I'm about to leave for work(It's 7 AM). For more such inspirations, do see my  Inspirations blog. To realize  The value of a sister/brother  Ask someone  Who doesn't have one. To realize  The value of ten years:  Ask a newly  Divorced couple.   To realize  The value of four years:  Ask a graduate.   To realize  The value of one year:  Ask a student who  Has failed a final exam.   To realize  The value of nine months:  Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.   To realize  The value of one month:  Ask a mother  Who has given birth to  A premature baby.   To realize  The value of one week:  Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.  To realize  The value of one minute:  Ask a person  Who has missed the train, bus or plane.   To realize  The value of one-second:  Ask a person  Who has survived a...

Whew!What a week. Hectic, workwise. And,comic,food wise. Now, being someone for whom food is more of the 'eat to live' rather than 'live to eat' necessity, I never really expect it to give me such good laughs at the end of the day. So, here goes- some of the foodie events of last week: - Decided to have baked beans on toast, at one of the restaurants(One of my recommended diet items, at present-but,that's another post-the diet, I mean). So, I made a detour in the middle of my walk, and, well, walked into this restaurant. The lady at the counter begins the conversation: "Yes, Sir..good evening. What would you like to have?" Me: "Do you serve baked beans on toast at this time?" She(Looking at her watch first):"Yes, Sir.But, it will be toast and baked beans, not baked beans on toast" Me:"Why? The menu says 'baked beans on toast." She: "I'm sorry, Sir. But, we can only serve baked beans with toast." Me:"What...

Some news tidbits last week made me think. Seventeen cricketers - 'sold' for Rs 30 crores- for the IPL(Lovingly called 'Indian Paisa League' by one TV channel)....err,you did say there's a recession going on? I did wonder whether this money couldn't have been better used to help some industries out of recession? Or, maybe, it has, in a way- the cricketers who were 'purchased' can rest easy!! ---- Another news tidbit - the moral police are at it again- the SRS group in Bangalore, which has announced that any 'couple' seen in a 'Valentine'like pose on 14.02, will be married off forcibly.Come to think of it-that might be a good idea...at least all the lakhs which go down the drain in wedding celebrations will be saved...another indirect measure to fight recession,I guess. I did wonder why no film-maker has thought of making a 'different' love story on this topic? ---- These jokes are from Ritu' s blog- spoken by her children and ...

Hi,all!!Well, the last 4-5 weeks have been quite good, where my writing hobby is concerned. For those who are not aware, I write Letters to Editors, and have been doing so since the early nineties. Back then, the frequency was much more, about forty a month. Now, it's down to less than ten. In fact, come to think of it, this (last 4-5 weeks)must have been the maximum in a month, since the time I came here. Which mags? Well, there's the Jan 21 issue of Filmfare, the Feb issue of Cine Blitz, The Jan issue of Glad Rags. I event tried my hand at writing to Marie Claire and the letter's there too(Jan issue).  Then, the caption contest in last to last week's Xpress out here selected my caption as the best.(Ahem!)..no prizes, it's just the selection that makes me feel happy. Then, another letter in Weekend , last week. This one's my letter to Filmfare(One of my favourite movie mags. CB is the other)-it was edited slightly, but, still, believe me, it was and is right f...

-Getting up early(530 AM to be precise) on a Friday holiday. -Going for walk at 6 AM,and finding the streets enveloped in fog(I wonder whether mist is the same as fog?Must google and see). -Walking fast,while the visibility's such that I could see barely 10 Metres in front of me. -Straining eyes,wondering whether,a la our movies,a lovely apparition(real,rather..why apparition?) of a damsel would come floating out of the fog,with a smile on her face.(LOL-the imagination does run wild sometimes,I guess)...but,no such thing happened.Sigh!!:):) -Going for a second round of walk at 730 AM.(It's a holiday,I restarted my weight loss diet,and,what better utilization of a holiday than this?) -Fog cleared slightly. A tubelight or two,in an office in Bur Juman shopping mall in the distance,shines through the fog,even as the sun's rays are trying to pierce through the haze. Maybe,just maybe that was an indication of the silver lining in the clouds being visible?(As I've mentioned,I...

What would you say if I told you that it rained cats and dogs on Friday night? You'd look at me like I was some kind of weirdo who'd seen a mirage, right?("Rain in the desert?" you'd say, *eyes upwards*). Well, it's true- since November end, in fact, it's been rainy season out here in Dubai, in fact,in the U.A.E. as a whole. Usually, I'm the kind of person who would sleep through any kind of storm or noises or maybe even fire but, even I got up on Friday night, hearing the sound of thunderclaps which repeated twice or thrice. As they say, the weather(s), they are a-changing all over the world. One blogger's reported that he saw lightning strike  (Do see the youtube link..it's amazing, what people can shoot) the world's tallest tower six times, two weeks back.  Now, on to the next news, would you believe that it snowed in the Ras Al Khaimah mountains yesterday? I can see more disbelief coming my way, so, here's the link . Amazing, righ...

Good heavens- this week seems like a week lost in my life. Work activity was so hectic, it was like home-office-home daily, except, of course, for the walks!Even there, I skipped one day-fell asleep at 7 PM, got up at 12 midnight, had a sandwich and fell asleep again. LOL. Only to wake up fresh n refreshed the next day. Couldn't even go around much to my favourite blogs. So, woke up early today to do just that and get updated!!:) One of the things I love about walking briskly, besides the energy it brings, is the entertainment value I get by taking a different route everyday. I've tried going to the Zabeel Park walking track- as a track it's great- a good two kilometres to walk around, and walking two or three rounds is exhilarating. But, what comes as an unwanted bonus is the dozens of others who think the same way. And, it makes me feel like I'm walking out of Churchgate station on a working day.(Imagine the crowds).  So, I take a different route daily, which goes str...

Hahahahahaha to these!!Catch you later in the day..a bit too tied up at work this week!! What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...? Do I look like a people person? This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.   If I throw a stick, will you leave? I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1? How do I set a laser pointer to stun? I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck.

This one gave me the laugh of the day. Detailed post coming shortly. I'm not saying she's easy, but Hoover classifies her tongue as a vacuum cleaner.

Do you know the latest in job requirements? I saw a few ads in the papers for this, and couldn't help feeling amused. The post? ' Bill Collector'. No wonder- in these times when there are instances of people leaving their bank-loaned vehicles at the airport, where people have purchased flats/villas and can't repay them, or where they've taken personal loans and not repaid, the requirement for a bill collector was bound to come up. Wonder whether the interview involves flexing muscles, speaking roughly,handling a stick, waving a gun, etc? ---- A miracle- a blooming miracle- I was astonished when I saw the news about the US Airways flight which landed in the Hudson river, and, all passengers and crew had a miraculous escape. If this isn't providence, what is? Hats off to the pilot for not losing his cool and getting all the passengers off. Wonder what they must've felt, standing on the wing/top of the plane, in freezing water, as they were being rescued? What ...

Firstly, over to the 'quiz' in the last post. But before that, I tried googling to see if I could get a good picture of the product, and, I can't believe it- they've banned 'google' out here.Whew! So, I got the above solitary pic via yahoo's search. To all the mystified people, let me put the missing words in. - Keep basin balance before use it. - Use twice a day is better,once in the morning the other in the night. Every time keep temperature at 40 degree and last 30 minute.   - Insist to use one or two month, beriberi will be clear away. -    In order to make heather, when wash by hot water, don’t open fan and air condition face your body. -     Foot basin       promote metabolism, so drink more water(Like 250 ml) to sweat.       -     Keep foot basin clean and dryness after used.       -     It is equal to use basin before or after one hour when you have a meal. Don’t stand up     and leave quickly when finished the massage.H ave a deep breath is good ...

Can you guess what “product” these instructions are for(They are all from one page, for the same product)?  - Keep ….balance before use it. - Use twice a day is better,once in the morning the other in the night. Every time keep temperature at 40 degree and last 30 minute.   - Insist to use one or two month,….will be clear away. -   In order to make heather, when wash by hot water, don’t open fan and air condition face your body. -    ….promote metabolism, so drink more water(Like 250 ml) to sweat.      -    Keep ….clean and dryness after used.      -    It is equal to use............before or after one hour when you have a meal. Don’t stand up    and leave quickly when finished the …….. Have a deep breath is good for your health.   Notice: - Do not use without water, don’t use it standing or deliberately trample. - Don’t use within 30 minutes after a meal.  - Do not use wet hands to.... ---       Hats off to you if you can guess!

(Positively brilliant ad,what do you say?) Whew-I'm astonished-by the comments in my previous post on the credit card seller lady- I never knew that my dear blog pals could be sooo,well,ruthless(?)-like, Keshi says she'd have 'exploded' had she been in my place, while rain girl 'would have given her a lecture', and Yamini would have'made her leave her job forever'...honestly, I'd be scared to meet you people if I was a salesperson,really!!I pity those poor supposedly confident salespeople who do turn up at your doors!!(Maybe you should share some of your experiences here)Haha:)As I said, I was in a good mood, and,had it been a 'bad mood' day, my reaction too might have been different,albeit,just a wee bit.:) --- And,oh-how is it that no-one has guessed that I'm a Piscean?(Ref. the post before this one)..I can think of a dozen Piscean traits which keep getting reflected in my posts,too!!:) Anyone wants to name some?  --- Can someone explai...

'Sir,Sir'...I heard a voice. I was just walking out of UAE Exchange, so I thought maybe someone(not me) had dropped a few thousand dirhams and a good samaritan, thinking that it was me, was callng out to return them. So, I stopped and turned. And, it was a lady walking fast(fastly, as they say out here). 'Sir, hello..I am so-and-so'. Me: Hello(Still mystified, wondering what it was all about) 'Sir, I'm from so-and-so bank. We are tied up with so-and-so Indian bank, so you can transfer money directly'. Me: No, thanks. I already have a good account with so-and-so bank. *Seeing that one sale has failed, next move with eyes wide open*: 'Sir, I noticed you have a RBS credit card.' (Don't tell me she needs an urgent loan from a stranger, I thought) Me: Yes (That's me-all precise and to the point) ' Would you like a so-and-so advantage card, lifetime free?' Me: No(Precise as ever) 'But, Sir, we have the lowest interest rates' Me: No....

Do you believe in the annual forecasts,the monthly ones,the weekly ones,the daily ones,which appear under your star sign, in papers and mags? Well,I do-mainly the good parts,of course..LOL...so,this year, for the simple reason that I don't want to go around storing clippings for this year's forecasts, I'm going to make them part of my posts-easier to recap to them, na.And, also,fun to see interpretations from them. So,here goes: This one's from a mag:(Edited by me,coz it was too long,so, only the,err,juicy bits are retained): From Jan to June,you:(My comments in bracket) -will be caught up in financial matters at home. (Bang on-that's right,till June) -will render your support wherever required. (I always do) Do not feel as if you are being made the victim of something and let no insecurity set in,causing you any grief. (Thank you for that advice,just in case!) This is the time for you to achieve a lot of success so just keep that as your goal and go ahead and achie...

Hi,all!! Here's wishing everyone a Very Happy 2009! How was the first day of the New Year? Anything special happen? Tell me, what does the above image signify to you for the New Year? Then,I'll give my interpretation.:) --- I don't have anything really special to write home about, except that the day began in a great way-woke up at @ 730 AM, which is 'late' by my standards...went down and saw that it was a somewhat foggy day again. Yes,we've been having nice fog these last few days,if you can call fog nice.:) And then,the rest of the day's just flown by, albeit,pretty peacefully and happily...sending emails to people,reading the various NY smses, talking to a few friends and chatting with some. Read this funny news about there being a ray of hope, finally, in the US of A...it seems that lingerie makers are having a field day, with sales of slinky lingerie specially shooting up.Why? Oh, simple- with the recession, people are staying at home more, so, they fee...

Some gems I've come across lately: - "Do not use this chair for any other purpose than massage" ====================  - Today's menu: -Red Bins -Black Bins -Masala Singh ==================  - Please do not spit this area. ==================== - Have a great fun on the water boat. ==================== Was checking out my visitor tracker, and,apparently,these are some of the searches that brought people to my blog: Search Term 1 25.00% ideas to fool with fake birthday gifts 1 25.00% bhakharvadi recipe with photo 1 25.00% meri shirt bhi sexy 1 25.00% good recipe of poona misal Amazing,huh, what people search for, and,how it brings them to a blog.:) ==================== Till next time, then. Cheerio...got lots more to write about, but, all that in the next post(s). Which,if it isn't before 01.01...