Friday, February 27, 2009

ID Cards

Hi,all!!This month, a major excitement for expat pros was the rush to get their ID cards. It was announced that those who do not get their cards by the 28.02, could have difficulties in using government services. So,all those who had not gone to the ID card centres for their cards, were early morning (Some, from midnight)queues all around the country,to get their cards.
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These ID cards will soon replace all other cards, like health cards,labour cards,et al. In fact, it seems like they might become what a friend from the US calls their social security numbers- a Qaidi no. So, all your information gets electronically stored via these cards. On these lines, someone circulated a hypothetical future situation which had me LOLling,but, may well become reality. So, here goes:(In fact, I heard they are talking of such cards in India,too..so, beware!!)
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Operator: 'Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your....'

Customer: 'Helloo, can I order..'

Operator : 'Can I have your multi UAE identity card number first, Sir?'

Customer: 'It's eh..., hold...........on......889861356102049998-45-54610'

Operator : 'OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Al Rolla Street , Bur Dubai. Your home number is 04-6789001, your office 04- 76452302 and your mobile is 050-1234567. Which number are you calling from now Sir?'

Customer: 'Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : 'We are connected to the system Sir'

Customer: 'May I order your Seafood Pizza...'

Operator : 'That's not a good idea Sir'

Customer: 'How come?'

Operator : 'According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir'

Customer: 'What?... What do you recommend then?'

Operator : 'Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it'

Customer: 'How do you know for sure?'

Operator : 'You borrowed a book entitled 'Popular Hokkien Dishes' from the National Library last week Sir'

Customer: 'OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?'

Operator : 'That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is 60 AED'

Customer: 'Can I pay by credit card?'

Operator : 'I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank 3,720.55 AED since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.'

Customer: 'I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives'

 Operator : 'You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today'

 Customer: 'Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?'

 Operator : 'About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle...'

 Customer: 'What!'

Operator : 'According to the details in system ,you own a Scooter,...registration number 1123...'

 Customer: '????'

 Operator : 'Is there anything else Sir?'

 Customer: 'Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?'

 Operator : 'We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... '

 Customer: #$$^%&$@$% ^

 Operator : 'Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?'

'Customer bangs phone in sheer frustration'

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Have a nice day and keep smiling!!:)

8 comments:

Aquarius said...

Hilarious stuff..yes big boss does wath everybody :) I am not too sure Pizza hut wil do this since this will eat into their profit margins.

yamini meduri said...

hahahah...!!! thats a great post Amit...!!!

really yaar...think if this really happens to us...what wud we do...i wud say...never this cards in India..!!!

austere said...

:)

In India? ha.

Kunjal said...

Hi!!!like always a superb post:)

rain girl said...

oh lolz! i hope this never happens :P

Ritu said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA.....I laffed my guts out for this one..and that too after a rather depressing day (A client rejected all my copies :-(

Thanks buddy..needed the laffs!

Arunima said...

haha, had read it sometime back but it was not UAE specific.

AmitL said...

Hi,Aquarius--ahh..I didn't think of that...but,what if it's compulsory?
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Hi,Yamini-just wait-I'm sure this card's on the way in India...:)The first step was pan cards.
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Hi,Austy..:)
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Hi,Kunjal-tks for that comment!!:)
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Hi,Rain Girl--:)Keep hoping.
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Hi,Ritu-anytime...:)We aim to amuse,as they say..LOL..:)
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Hi,Arunima...ahaa..was it India-specific??