Some Sizzling Scintillating Speculations

(Quip for the above pic: She's referring to his art of swinging on trees, of course.*most innocent smile*) Thought for the day: We the willing, following the unknowing are doing the impossible. We have done so much for so long with so little that we are now able to do anything with nothing. Oops…this seems like one of THOSE days, when callers are out to get,nee, bug me. Why else would there be five calls already, in 45 minutes, all of the idiotic kind. Like, the most recent one: My cellphone flashes(I’ve kept it on silent mode since 3 months now): Me: Hello Him: (Breathing heavily) (I thought he’d just climbed up a set of stairs, or down them?) Me: Hello(Slightly Irritated) Him: Yaaaas?Who you? Me: You called, not me. Him: (Disconnects) Thankfully, today’s Thursday, so many people have a half-day, so, it’ll probably go on only till afternoon. (We work full day, with Fri-Sat off). ---- At last: Mehak sent me the true story of the evolution of the topiwaala Resham-iya. Here it is : ...

Thought for the day: If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. I hear all sorts of interesting tidbits, especially if I’m sitting in a restaurant/cafeteria, in the wee hours of morning, : One day, there were these two guys talking: Guy 1: You know, my baby girl- woh abhi se palti khaane lagi hai.(My baby girl can turn over already). Guy 2: Really? How old is she? Guy 1: 1.5 months Guy 2: Really? Guy 1: Well, not full palti, but, Aise…..and, he bent over to show how the baby girl turns and nearly fell off the chair. (I couldn’t help grinning) ----- Another day: Guy 1: Sometimes I wonder what are we doing here? Guy 2: Why? Guy 1: All our knowledge, our education, our experience- we shouldn’t be here. Guy 2: Then where should you be? Guy 1: I don’t know. ------ Another day: Guy 1: These Indian cricketers Guy 2: Yes, this team is full of buddhas.(Oldies) Guy 1: Until they kick out the oldies from the selection team, no good can happen. Guy 3: But, then, who will be at the BCCI? Guy 1: There ar...

Caption for the above: Smart ad Thought for the day: All's well that ends. (No, I did not forget a word) Irritants of the first order: Have you ever wondered why some instructions/questions are so silly, nee, stupid. For example, if you are installing a program (Even Windows XP)on your computer which you really need, why does it ask: ‘I agree to the terms and conditions’. Yes or No. I mean, if I want the program, why would I say ‘No’? Or, if you press the delete key, why does it ask ‘Are you sure you want to send so-and-so to the recycle bin?’ Arre, baba, I would prefer to send it beyond the recycle bin, so, why do you ask? How many times do you mistakenly press delete during a day? Not more than once or twice, I am sure. Still on irritants, it’s something similar to someone asking: In a movie hall: Come to see a movie? (Next time someone asks, I’ll say ‘No, I came to see how many people come to see this movie.’, or, ‘No, I am the watchman’) At the entrance to office building: Hell...

Thought for the day: “ I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. ” Happy days: Oh,wow…two prizes in a day…ahem…the first one, was in Gulf News Friday magazine(No e-version available)..it was for a simple quiz on books(Google zindabad). Now, since it’s by a draw of lots, let me say, I’ve been trying to win since quite a few months, and, finally, succeeded. Prize is AED 100 worth of books(gift voucher), so, I’m going to enjoy this one. The second one was the most unexpected. The other mega paper here, Khaleej Times. I had not even read the magazine yesterday morning, and, in the lazy afternoon, I was just beginning to go through the letters section(Feeling that my letter was not up to the mark, when I read that my name, and, also, that I was the winner for the week. For those interested, here it is : The article I referred to was this one . ---- Still on papers, Gulf News is now ava...

Thought for the day: Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.-Mark Twain Some posts back, I was talking about how we refer to people as ‘Till yesterday, he/she was this small’, and added how we say it for buildings in Dubai. Well, today I am saying it for my blog. Exactly four years back, I had written my first post on 23.08.2003.*applause*..grin. Back in 2003, I had been missing my hobby of writing to magazines and papers, ever since I had arrived in Dubai, since either mags and papers here were(are) double or more of their price in India, or, they were not available. There was a time in the nineties when I used to write around 35-40 letters to the editor a month, with a number of them getting published. (A post on that some other day) What is it about blogs that is so addictive?Any answers?Mine is' the pleasure of having our own personal space to write in,free of editors'. The first post had been about penpals (And, memories of those penpals deserves anoth...

(Doesn't that say a lot for the mindset of these people?) Thought for the day: Work smarder and not harder and be careful of yor speling. 'Chak De India'- first thoughts when I saw the trailer on TV- 'oh,just another movie attempting to promote sports other than cricket, in a dramatized way'. To be frank, I went to see the movie quite reluctantly, thinking that it would be just another movie, a waste of 25 AED. But, glad to say, I was proved wrong. I left the hall feeling quite elated(Even if it was a momentary victory and that too in reel life) and also hoping that some day, someone in real life would be inspired enough to make our women’s hockey team aspire for the World Cup. The story, in brief, goes thusly: Kabir Khan, the Captain of the men’s hockey team, commits the sacrilege of letting his countrymen watch the defeat of India at the hands of our ‘friendly’ neighbour, courtesy a botched up penalty shot, which he thinks he can make and doesn’t...

Thought for the day: God does not play dice with the universe.- Albert Einstien Did you know there's a site where you can actually chat with God.I found it while blogsurfing. Here it is I tried it out,and here's the conversation. It was fun,and,wouldn't it be great if chatting with Him was really so easy:(It's really as I chatted on that site...whoever thought up the idea -thanks) (A footnote on the site says"iGod is meant to be used for fun.A sense of humour is recommended.) Me: Hello,God God: Hello child. What is your name? Me: Amit God: Glad to see you, Amit. Me: it was great to see your site link God: How did you feel about that? Me: nice God: Thank you for that remark. Me: I just wanted to thank you for being you... God: Why do you want to do it so much? Me: Because I'm happy to just 'be alive and lively' God: Interesting explanation. I'm glad you're glad Amit. May God bless you. Me: Thank you sooo much,God...I'll be back. God: You...

(Caption for the above pic: Which festival is being celebrated? Those who have seen the pic, don't give the answer, those who haven't, please hazard a guess. Answer next time, with answers to the India quiz) Thought for the day: Life is not like a bowl of cherries or peaches.It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today,might burn your backside(Modest way to say a*s) tomorrow. This being ‘Tell a joke ‘ day, let me dedicate it to fun times only.(Sorry,Austy,but, it's joke day,after all.hehe) Simple jokes: Fun things to do during an exam: Warning: You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only. 1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early. 2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Eureka, Eureka, I've got the secret documents!!" 3. If it is...

(Caption for above pic: India-the 'Spices' of life) Thought for the day: Freedom is too precious to be wasted on spreading negative, unproductive and harmful thoughts. ……Lulu Centre, UAE Happy Independence Day, everyone. I’ve been getting smses, emails, wishes et al from various people. It’s always good to see everyone in a festive, joyous mood. But, tell me, how many people really know what the Day is all about? Just that we got Independence from Britain on this day, right? Some might remember the year, 1947. Others will remember that it’s 60 years since we got it, since the papers are saying it. School children who have the Freedom Movement as their syllabus, will remember data which they’ve crammed in their minds, but, only as a syllabus, not imagining the scenes as they happened. People will watch the patriotic movies on TV, and say’ what a nice piece of work’ and remember the director and actors. But, what efforts went into making it happen? What efforts are we making to s...

Thought for the day: Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them. Prayer for the day: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.’ Update: 14.08: Anyone reading Open Space , in Sunday TOI? Answer my question (12.08.07) there:'What is the origin of the phrase' dead ringer'? ------ Do you often find yourself getting caught in a routine? Like, sometimes my routine becomes: Get up-have tea-go for walk-come back-get ready-catch company bus/bus/drive/train-reach place of work-spend the first half of the day, working hard or hardly working, depending on what the schedule for the day is, though the second one usually does not apply to anyone in Dubai-have lunch- spend the second half of the day-end-leave place of work- catch company bus/bus/drive/train, reach home, tiredly change clothes-take shower to feel fresh-go for walk/watch TV or a movie/have dinner/sleep. And, the cycle repea...

(Click above pic to read it. Part II of 'Never Trust An Alien') ------- Thought for the day: Why do people sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? ------- Time for a 'filler' post, even as the next one gets ready. And,since my filler posts are usually humorous(Like the normal ones), here goes joke after joke after joke: Budget Airlines: (Beware- this'll happen in India,too,one of these days, with airlines flying people for lower than second class rail fares) Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket? Passenger: Sure. Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please! Passenger: What for? Attendant: For telling you where to sit. Passenger: But I already know where to sit. Attendant: We now charge a $5 seat-locating fee. Passenger: Nonsense. I won't pay it. Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flig...

(To view full pic, click on it) Caption for the above photo: Never Trust An Alien: Part I Thought for the day: Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit.~Author Unknown It finally happened. The first murder in our new office. I first spotted it by the spot of red just inside a cabin. On walking a step ahead, there it was, lifeless in death- I could imagine how the body must have writhed in it’s last moments, eyes wide open, asking for a little mercy, and the perpetrator of the deed, not hearing a word, must have just put his foot down and ………..crushed the baby lizard, of course. The perpetrator of the foul deed has not been found yet- perhaps he/she wiped his feet clean or discarded his shoes/ high heels/?? In order to avoid detection, obviously. Right after that, I found a baby spider in my section of the office. On calling the office boy, before I could tell him to just shift the wee thing to some other place, WHAM! The second murder of the day was committed, he just p...

(To view the above pic in bigger size, click on it) Thought for the day: Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. … Scott Adams The captions for this week’s contest in Xpress4me are ongoing. Here’s the link. Anyone wants to email their contribution to the paper, they’re most welcome. How’s mine ? ------ Yahoo’s main page says: Back-to-school: Laptops, Cell Phones, Backpacks. Now, the third one, I understand, but, the first two, in school? And, that too, like they’re advertising for paint and crayons and notebooks(Paper ones)?? ------ Continuing the crank-list from the previous post, here’s the second one. We have this 24-hrs supermarket downstairs. And, there’s this lady who totals up the bill on the cash register, and whatever amount you give, she asks for ‘change’. I decided to ensure she doesn’t ask yesterday, I went, with 4 coins of 1 AED each, to meet any eventuality, and, what do you know? The bill was AED ...

Thought for the day:Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Will Rogers On some days, it seems that all the cranks are out to see how they can irk me. So, today was one of those days. The first guy was a new product seller, who got my reference from a friend. Here’s how the conversation went, in brief: Him: Heloooo. Me: Yes. Him: Is that Mr. Ameet? Me: Yes, I’m Amit. (emphasis on the I) Him: Good day to you, Mr. Ameet(He didn’t listen to my pronunciation, obviously, as are most people who’re too wrapped up in their own dialogues, out here, to listen to what the other person says). I am …. And I am the Managing Director of a Building Materials Co. (LOL- I’m supposed to be impressed? Most shop-keepers call themselves MDs or GMs). Me: Ok. So? Him: (Surprise in his voice that I am not amazed that a MD called me): What are your office timings, Mr. Amit?(For heavens sake, once you use my nam...

(Caption for the above pic: Would you be scared to go here?) Thought for the day: Without God, our week is: Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Fighday, Shatterday and Sinday. So, allow Him to be with you every day!" This week’s winning caption for the photo showing a fan excitedly holding out her tongue while holding the new Harry Potter book, was pretty good, looking at it ‘pun’itively. Here’s the link - mine’s under’ Amit, Dubai ’ as usual. The winner’s caption(Not on the website, but in print edition): ‘It was tough getting a copy. But, I’m glad I stuck it out’. (Nice pun, the second line). --- And, hey, how about a caption for this week’s pic , from the movie 300? ----- The same paper has highlighted the duties of a Dubai lifeguard, and some of the duties are unusual, to say the least. Here they are: 1) Ensuring everyone is in proper attire: No n*dity, swimming fully clothed or un un*erwear. (So, you can’t walk into the water in your clothes, or without them) 2) Making...

Thought for the day: “ A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?”...Albert Einstein This post is inspired by a similar post by Keshi,which,of course, was 'the other way round'thoughts.:) To be frank, I found most of the points in one of my collection of jokebooks, (So, it's not original like Keshi's post was...Sighh) , I edited them a bit, but still included them all. (Before Austy or anyone asks, nee, all might not be applicable to me..haha) Men’s thoughts: If we: Put the woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, we are MCPs. Stay at home and do the housework, we’re a pansy. Work too hard, there is never any time for her and the kids. Don’t work hard enough, we’re a good for nothing layabout If we-If she: If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, that is exploitation. If we have such a job, we should get off our butts and find something better. If a man gets a promotion ahead of h...

(Caption for the above pic: Do you feel this way sometimes??) Thought for the day: "Intelligence is like an underwear. It is important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it........" (Please laugh- don’t say ‘Ugh’..LOL) Blogspot seems to be quite user-friendly, now, so, I aim to continue here. Wish me luck. Or, perhaps I should post at both places- nee, that’s too difficult. And, here’s the second part which talks about our ‘tastes’ in food, friends, family, et al..Excellent. - Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes. (We love our food-and,the savoring ensures it never goes to waste, right?) - You are Always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the airport. (Yup, instead of buying four small suitcases, two will do) - You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal. ( That’s one bad point- late is not fashionable, or, is it?) - You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita,...