(Click above pic to read it. Part II of 'Never Trust An Alien')
Thought for the day:Why do people sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground?
Time for a 'filler' post, even as the next one gets ready. And,since my filler posts are usually humorous(Like the normal ones), here goes joke after joke after joke:
Budget Airlines: (Beware- this'll happen in India,too,one of these days, with airlines flying people for lower than second class rail fares)
Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket?
Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please!
Passenger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to sit.
Passenger: But I already know where to sit.
Attendant: We now charge a $5 seat-locating fee.
Passenger: Nonsense. I won't pay it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight or not?
Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But I'm going to complain.
Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would
like me to put it in the overhead compartment for you?
Attendant: No problem (grunts). Up we go, and done! $10, please.
Attendant: We charge a $10 carry-on assistance fee.
Passenger: This is extortion.
Attendant: Actually, you're right -- you can't stand. You need to sit
fasten your seat-belt. But first I need that $10.
Passenger: No way.
Attendant: Sir, if you don 't comply, I will call the air marshal. And
really don't want me to do that.
Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?
Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal calling fee.
Passenger: Oh, all right, take the $10. I can't believe this.
Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I
do for you?
Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy and my overhead fan isn't working. Can you
Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert 50 cents
coin slot for the first 5 minutes.
Passenger: You are charging me for cabin air?
Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is free of charge.
Circulating air costs 50 cents.
Passenger: I don't have 50 cents. Do you have change for a dollar?
Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!
Passenger: But you've given me only 25 cents change.
Attendant: Yes, there's a change-making fee of 25 cents.
Passenger: What? And what will I do with the 25-cents change?
Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it for the lavatory!
And,one on my favourite kind of jokes:
A blonde and her brunette friend were talking. "I hate all the blonde jokes people say."
"Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here I'll prove it to you."
So they went outside and hailed a taxi driver."Please take me to
The taxi drove them and when they finally got out the brunette looked at the blonde and said."See that guy was really stupid."
"No kidding." replies the blonde,"there was a pay phone just around the corner, you could have called instead."
Husband: I bought Olympic c*ndoms today and I think I will use the Golden one tonight.
Wife: Oh no, why not rather the silver one, so that you can come second for a change.----
Teenager goes to watch a strip show. His mother found out about this and was furious with him asking him: ” And did u by any chance see anything u should not have!“ when he replied: ”Yes, DAD“.----
A husband forgot his wedding anniversary. His angry wife demanded: ”Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 100 in under 4 seconds!“Next morning wife found a parcel in the driveway containing a new bathroom scale…
Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen: "Careful. CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What the heck is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."----
8 Year old boy is in court for rap*.
His defense attorney is a women. In court she drematically takes out the boy’s member and ask the judge: ”Sir do you really think this little thing could have rap*d“ when young boy whispered to her: ”Auntie you must stop shaking it so vigorously...we will lose the case!“
Till next time,keep smiling.