Friday, August 03, 2007

If we-If she- If we....



Thought for the day:
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?”...Albert Einstein

This post is inspired by a similar post by Keshi,which,of course, was 'the other way round'thoughts.:) To be frank, I found most of the points in one of my collection of jokebooks, (So, it's not original like Keshi's post was...Sighh) , I edited them a bit, but still included them all. (Before Austy or anyone asks, nee, all might not be applicable to me..haha)

Men’s thoughts:

If we:

Put the woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, we are MCPs.

Stay at home and do the housework, we’re a pansy.

Work too hard, there is never any time for her and the kids.

Don’t work hard enough, we’re a good for nothing layabout

If we-If she:

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, that is exploitation.

If we have such a job, we should get off our butts and find something better.

If a man gets a promotion ahead of her, it’s favouritism. If she gets a promotion ahead of a man, it’s equal opportunity.

If we mention how nice she looks, it is se*ual harassment. If we keep quiet, that is typical male indifference.

If we cry, we’re a Sheila. If we don’t, we’re insensitive jerks.

If the husband thumps her, that’s wife bashing. If she thumps him, it’s self-defence.

If he makes a decision without consulting her, he’s a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without regard for his feelings, she’s a liberated woman.

If we appreciate the female form and frilly innerwear, we’re se*ual perverts. If we don’t notice, we’re poofters.

If we like a woman to keep in shape and shave her legs, that is se*ist. If we don’t care, it is unromantic.

If we try to keep ourselves in shape, that is vanity. If we don’t, we’re slobs.

If we buy her flowers, we’re after something. If we don’t, we’re forgetful.

If we are proud of our achievements, we are up ourselves. If we aren’t, we are not ambitious.

If we ask for a cuddle, we never think of anything but se*. If we’re totally wrecked after a bad day at the office, we never give a stuff about other people’s needs.

If she has a headache, it’s because she’s tired. If he has a headache, it’s because he doesn’t love her anymore.

If we want se* too often, we’re overse*ed. If we can’t perform on cue, there must be someone else.

Moral of the story: Why fight it, guys? You can't win..so,forget your ego, flow with the tide, and you'll have a 'majaa ni life',(A Joyful Life) as Munnabhai says. This of course, does not apply to those who get their daily dose of adrenaline by arguing/fighting/screaming at their girlfriends/colleagues/wives/....:)

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On to some nice end-jokes:(Hope I am not repeating them, Shreya....you have a good memory- and noticed that the last one was a repeat)

This one tests your GK:

Q:Who was the first Indian lady to fly abroad?

A: Sita- with Ravana

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Two IT officers are sitting together. Suddenly, the first one starts laughing hysterically. The second one asks’ What happened?’

Reply: I’m just seeing Mallika Sherawat’s IT return.

Second one: So?

First one: Laundry bill is shown as Rs. 7 lakhs- I guess she doesn't know how many zeroes come in 70/-.

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Till next time, keep smiling.

13 comments:

Keshi said...

**If we appreciate the female form and frilly innerwear, we’re se*ual perverts. If we don’t notice, we’re poofters.


thats true u know. LOL!

Keshi.

Mehak said...

LOL @ the pic....

& nice thought for the day!!

End-jokes...sunne ve hai...got both as text msgs looong time back.

Lolly said...

Go with the flow...good advice!

I would add...Just Smile & Nod ~ gets YOU far and in good favour ;)

Sweetstickychewy said...

lol...OMG!!! Those Are true..!:O

hhaha..:P

payal said...

lolz...n ya guys better leave their egos ;) no use na!so true!!

Sakhi said...

-> Couldn't read the text on the image *:l*
-> 'Men's thoughts' was real funny *lol*. But I think if a man remains the way he was when the woman fell for him (and vie versa), all will be a smooth-sail. Friction occurs when things change- suddenly or gradually. What say? *hmmm*
-> *LOL* @ the 'End Jokes'- Sit, Mallika *grinning from ear to ear*
-> Okay now Blogspot's going good. How about sprucing the page up a little, though- adding links/colour etc.??
S m i l e

AmitL said...

Hi,Keshi...LOL at your comment"That's true,u know"...:)

AmitL said...

Hi,Mehak..tks for the comment..end-jokes-well,some would be 'sune hue' I guess.:)

AmitL said...

Hi,Lolly..hehe..yes,go with the flow..easy way,na??And,smile and nod,is equally good.:)

AmitL said...

Hi,SSchewy...hehehe.:)U agree that those are true.:)

AmitL said...

LOL..Payal...good advice..:)

AmitL said...

Hi,Sakhi-to read text on the image,just click on the image,and it opens on another page.:)Err,are you saying it from experience,about the man remaining the same as was when he'fell'?:)Sprucing up the page-yessss,plan to do that-any ideas??

austere said...

:)