Some Sizzling Scintillating Speculations

I found the remix version of this song, today. The first time I heard it, I couldn't help laughing away all the time. Here goes: Patel Rap Anyone know whether the original version is available? Incidentally, have any of you seen this site? It's quite a nice compilation. I'm exploring the comedy section now, but naturally. :) Here's a really funny video. And,for those who understand Gujarati, here's another good one . Next post coming up soon.:)

Ah-my first stay at a hotel in Dubai, albeit, for just one day and a little more. What happened is, I'd told my landlord that I was travelling between Dubai and India, and had even found him a new tenant to boot!(Otherwise they charge anything from between one to three months rent as a penalty for breaking a contract midway).. Well, the new tenant's documents got ready on Tuesday, and the landlord called me the same night. Luckily, I had received the Water and Electricity Department's 'final bill paid' receipt the same day, which is a pre-requisite for vacating a flat(I guess some people run away with months of unpaid bills and hence the rule). I told him I'd hand over the keys of the flat the day I was leaving. And, he dropped the bombshell- NO! you stay in a hotel for a day. I want your keys tomorrow morning by 10 AM, I will get the flat checked by my man and then only I can refund your deposit(Which was the equivalent of Rs 12500/-)....Calm me lost my composu...

( I had a great laugh when I saw this cartoon-so telling about the current corporate world, isn't it? A big thanks to the cartoonist) Thought for the day:  " Attitude is the distance from 'hanging on' to 'hanging in'." Whew-11 days since I came here!Time's been flying by. Well, I guess I'll be back on the net regularly,once I return to Baroda. One reason for not being regular is, there's too much work load to finish in 2 weeks, so I don't log on much from work. Hardly any,in fact. And, since I gave up my home net connection here when I left for Baroda, I go to sit in a cyber cafe,like right now. And, believe me, sitting in a cyber cafe is not really my idea of fun. How can it be fun, when you have different people jabbering away behind or next to you? Someone's getting bugged with his wife in his hometown, someone's koochie-kooing to a kid(At least, I think it's a kid) and so on. Well, yesterday, I finally took the ride on the D...

Hey, there!!Time's been a-flying by..was missing blogs and blogging so much..so, let me do some quick blog surfing and a blog post-ing as well today. Been here since 10th..will leave on 26th...let me recount my usual funny encounters on way to/at Abad airport. First comic scene was the taxi guy- he told me he got a heavy cold n cough the night before, hence he had brought a helper with him, and they kept getting into the driver's seat every 1/2 hour....me suspected he'd had a mite too much of something the previous day and the overhang,nee,hangover was affecting him!!Ah well, we reached safely, so all's well that ends well. At the airport..finished the usual formalities,got the usual nice treatment Emirates flyers get v/s the Indian airlines flyers(Or,maybe that's my imagination,Sir!!), and went to sit in the usual 'observer' seat, close to the snacks shop(Where I always have a cuppa tea with a good puff(Puff as in veggie puff, don't look so amazed-I ain...

Hi from Dubai!! Baaki sab break ke samay!

I found something that brought back nice memories, recently. Here's Page 2 of the first one: Poetic,emotional,versatile,occasionally confused. ___are sensitive to others' needs, frequently neglecting their own. Kind and charitable, they can use this as an excuse to opt out of the rat-race, when it is really lack of self-confidence that holds them back. Their fund of warm emotion is wonderfully expressed towards a partner, who should be sound and sensible enough to ensure their imagination doesn't run away with them. they must also watch out for self-deception, and for the little white lie which can entangle them in a web of deceipt. They make excellent nurses, sometimes sacrificing marriage for a vocational career; they are often creative. Happy Birthday Any idea which sun sign this refers to? Haha- of course- you guessed right- the front page of the card(You're right- it was a box with some greeting cards of ...

(Click on the pic to get an enlarged view) This is from the Nov 11 issue of Filmfare. ----

Do you know one of the most common words I've encountered since I came to Baroda(Been a month now..wow)? It is' Jama' (deposit). I don't know whether there really is such a big coin shortage here or whether people just like to keep things jama hoping that the other person will forget that something is owed? Let's see now- people who have told me 'jama' are: - The South Corner larriwalla(He makes stuff as good as or better than the restaurant guys)- kept 5 Rs Jama. - The other(Not the one I sometimes visit during my morning walk) tea stall guy in Fatehgunj(I was too famished for a cuppa that day in the afternoon): 1 Re jama(That was the first and last time I went there, frankly- didn't like the taste) - The dhobi,nee presswalla(Since he only irons clothes): 2 Rs jama Some more enterprising people charge the rounded off figure if they don't have change- for eg, the local papers like Sandesh and Guj Samachar cost Rs 2.25/- and the paper guy deducts 3/- ...

DNA Midday Sunday Midday Bombay Times and the other supplement of Sunday Times Hindustan Times Asian Age The Hindu Deccan Chronicle (though I didn't read these last two) That's just a small list of papers that I could easily get in Dubai(thought not necessarily buy, of course, for reasons cited below) but, that draw blank stares from the newsstand vendors in Baroda. In fact, the TOI has come out with a new weekly paper, Crest,that I'm sure will be available in Dxb, but, the agent here again looked at me blankly when I asked him about it. Thank heavens for e-versions of these papers. On to the circulating library. I haven't seen Society, Savvy, Health, Hello, Showtime,...to name a few on the library guy's stand here, and, used to get them easily there at the library. So, what's the reason? Is it that people in my friendly city here don't read as much as they used to? Or, do they all read the e-versions since they're cheaper(I can't really agree to tha...

(Note: Pic is from the net and only for reference) Did I ever write here about the born salesmen we have in India? Although they are a limited few, they can still ensure that you buy what they want you to buy. Two of these people are fruit-sellers. The first one, I met last week. Was buying some guavas. And, they looked somewhat dirty, and, had some sort of notches on them. I told the guy that these did not look suitable, since they had these indentations. And, he says 'Arre, Saab- e to popat chaanch maare ne, etle Amrud mitthoo hoye. Jema chaanch naa maare, e mitthoo na hoye'. (Oh, Sir- when the parrot puts his beak to it, the guava is sweet, otherwise not). I did end up buying that one, and, really speaking, it was sweet..so, that was a nice sale and a nice bargain for him and me. The other fruit seller- I was buying apples- he was putting 1-2 pieces in the tarazoo(Yes, they still have that central balance with the weights on each side, one for putting weights, one for puttin...

'Hurrrrr Hattttt'- I heard this shout just in time, in between changing of the songs on my mp3 player, while I was on my morning walk. There I was, walking at my usual quick pace, the song'Dhan Te Nan'(Kaminey) had just ended and the next one was about to begin. I turned around, thinking it was a familiar shout, and, what do I see? 5 mega(Read'fat') cows, in 1 ahead of 2 ahead of 3 formation, and the first one just beginning to run, so that in the next 30 seconds, it would hit me(They never think, do they? Jo raaste mein aaye, kuchal daalo- whoever comes in the path, trample them) followed by the others who, naturally were about to follow their leader. And, behind them was this cowherd on a bicycle, who had done the shouting(It wasn't to warn me, though..haha). I was just able to cross over to the other side of the road in time and save myself a visit to the hospital.(And, one cow actually followed me, but the cowherd herded it back in time) That's jus...

Wishing everyone a Very Happy Diwali and a Bright, Prosperous, Scintillating New Year and Many More to come!! I read this in the local papers last week. We have all sorts of 'betsmen' in our great State. They bet on everything, from number of sixes and fours by a team, by players, in a cricket match to whether it will rain as normal or less or more during the rainy season. They even bet on the registration plate number of the next vehicle that passes by, as they sip tea at the highway dhaba. But, this one takes the cake, along with the icing: People actually bet on the number of squares (checks)that will be visible on the common man's shirt in the daily cartoon on the front page of Times Of India- the R.K. Laxman cartoon, which is always so timely, which says a lot and provides the first laugh of the day for many people including me!! A Honda City actually drives up in the wee hours of the morning, to meet a truck as it unloads bundles of Times of India in Rajkot and snaps ...

(Random pics from the net) I'm mystified. Travelling on Baroda's roads nowadays, I wonder why people want to honk so much? Even if the road's empty, they still go beep-beep,parp-parp,doggie bow-wow or some shrill noise which irritates the ears. Are they just trying to say 'look, I own a vehicle'? Similarly, if there's a traffic jam, they know that until the first vehicle moves, the ones behind won't be able to. Still, instead of waiting patiently, people from the second vehicle begin honking, creating a cacophony of at least 60 dB. Reminds me sometimes of the animals in Sayaji Park in the morning hours- one feels hungry and lets off a roar, and the rest follow suit, like a 'bhed chaal'(Sheep following the leader) --- Come to think of it, why don't the inventors of PC/video games make one on the traffic of a non-metro city like Baroda? It would be a sure-fire hit. Based on just my experiences in the last one week, we could have: ...

Just one of the amusing experiences I had on the flight: This one was as soon as we boarded the flight: - Ole Gujju Uncle(to steward): Chai-coffee kuch milega?(Will we get some tea or coffee?) - Steward(Who was non-Indian,but,knew some Hindi): It will take some time,Sir. - Ole Gujju Uncle: (Not hearing what was said): Chai kab milega? -Steward: Sir,I can't promise you,but,let me get all passengers seated and then I'll try and get you some. - Ole Gujju Uncle(Still not hearing): Look,this is my ticket- we have come from London and are going to Ahmedabad via Dubai. This is why I need some tea. - Steward: Let me see,Sir. - Ole Gujju Uncle: It is free of cost,ne? (those who are in touch with gujjus,will associate 'ne' with 'right'. Right,ne,Austy?) hehehe! More coming up soon.

Hi all! I'm in Baroda now. All as planned-reached at 08 AM yesterday. Lots of interesting things observed during the flight and at the airports. More on that shortly. So, hang in there. Will be around your blogs,soon. Need a good broadband service for home. Any suggestions? A service which also provides service after selling it.

I always get a nice laugh when I read the instructions on some products. This one is a gem: The – brand EMZ is we company excogiate a new series products. Its use convenient and novelty shape. In order to easily for you to use it, please read following instructions carefully before using: 1. Product characteristics: Function: Kill mosquito or winged insect, and lighting. Battery :High capacity free maintain Charge voltage: AC220V/50 Hz, Work voltage: about 2200 V Have electrical source protect switch, much more security Bulb: 4.2V/0.2A 2. Usage Instructions: a. Battery charge: Push the electric source switch to OFF direction, and push the plug perfectly in the socket of AC 220V/40 Az. And keep charging about 12 Hours that recharging direction light lighting. b. Before make use of it for the first time, please charging about 2-8 hours c. Kill mosquito method: Push the electric source switch to ON direction, p...

There's no pleasure like the fun of seeing a new movie in the hall. Neither a DVD(which releases after I've read at least a dozen reviews) or a pirated print(Arghh!Those colours) can replace the pure fun of seeing a fun (I usually don't see any other kind) movie in a good hall, Lamcy's halls being one of my favourites. I'd picked a side aisle this time, with only one seat next to it, hoping that no-one would take it. But, no such luck- a cap-wearing guy who insisted on putting his feet up on the seats in front(since they were empty) made me feel quite irritated. Why do people treat a cinema hall as if it's their property to spoil? (Come to think of it, they wouldn't spoil their own property like this). But, it was slightly better(there's always something to be thankful for, as I say) than last week's Dil Bole Hadippa experience of the 'wide' Uncle who should have taken two tickets to seat himself(That review coming up later), chomping away a...

Thought for the day: The four levels of comedy: Make your friends laugh, make strangers laugh. Get paid to make strangers laugh and make people talk like you because it’s so much fun…Jerry Seinfeld. (My comment: I wish I could be like that at all times, instead of just sometimes..haha) There’s lots to write about, but, since it’s our weekend coming up in 4 hours, let me write first about what made me smile/guffaw/laugh in the last few days: (As such, the mind’s a bit more light-hearted than usual, with Baroda on my mind. haha) The dialogue from a Hindi movie that went: - “We have to go for potty with Danish Pastry.” It turned out that he(Paresh Rawal or Anupam Kher, I’m not sure) was talking of having Pot Tea with Dinesh Mistry. 2. Anupam Kher’s jokes in ‘Perfect (Mis)match, a fun movie(review comes up later): one of them goes: Q: What does the Gujju call a Mercedes Benz? A: A Mari Sadi Bhens 3. One of the items on the menu of a restaurant here: - Soft drink(cane) Any guesses what that...

Thought for the day: A city is a large community where people are lonesome together. ‘They crawl out of the woodwork’- was my thought when I had spent hardly three months in the Purchasing Department. And, after 7.5 years, the thought still comes to mind every few days. I’m referring to a group of people that I find unique to Dubai, whom we in the construction field term as suppliers ( also referred to as vendors) of the various products we buy. And, the number of people I’ve met in 7.5 years is probably double(or more) the number I met in my whole life prior to coming to Dubai. The way this market works here, is very different from any other,including India. Each average/ good supplier keeps at least three nationalities of people in his kitty/payroll- a gora(As we lovingly call Brits/Aussies/Europeans,etc), a local/ Arabic speaking gent and an Indian (generally Keralite) or two(Second one could be Mangalorean) or three(could be any of the rest- Gujju, for example- kept as inhouse sal...

Front page snippet from the best-selling local newspaper here: The speed of finger and toe-nail growth has surged by nearly a quarter over the last 70 years, a new study has revealed. And, the modern diet-rich in protein from readily available fish,meat,eggs and poultry-may be behind the spurt. Researchers from the University of North Carolina(My comment-I'd love to do a Phd there-they have such interesting research topics) compared results to a study published by Oxford University in 1938.... The results revealed that: Big toenails now grow by more than 2 mm a month, compared with 1.65 mm in the Thirties. Thumbnail growth rate was 3 mm a month in 1938 and 2.06 mm in the Fifties study. The average thumbnail grows by 3.55 mm a month-an increase of more than half a millimetre over seven decades. Scientists monitored 195 fingernails and 188 toenails over three months. The results also showed that fingernails now grow by 3.47 mm every month-almost twice as fast as toenails. The nails o...