Some Sizzling Scintillating Speculations

DNA Midday Sunday Midday Bombay Times and the other supplement of Sunday Times Hindustan Times Asian Age The Hindu Deccan Chronicle (though I didn't read these last two) That's just a small list of papers that I could easily get in Dubai(thought not necessarily buy, of course, for reasons cited below) but, that draw blank stares from the newsstand vendors in Baroda. In fact, the TOI has come out with a new weekly paper, Crest,that I'm sure will be available in Dxb, but, the agent here again looked at me blankly when I asked him about it. Thank heavens for e-versions of these papers. On to the circulating library. I haven't seen Society, Savvy, Health, Hello, Showtime,...to name a few on the library guy's stand here, and, used to get them easily there at the library. So, what's the reason? Is it that people in my friendly city here don't read as much as they used to? Or, do they all read the e-versions since they're cheaper(I can't really agree to tha...

(Note: Pic is from the net and only for reference) Did I ever write here about the born salesmen we have in India? Although they are a limited few, they can still ensure that you buy what they want you to buy. Two of these people are fruit-sellers. The first one, I met last week. Was buying some guavas. And, they looked somewhat dirty, and, had some sort of notches on them. I told the guy that these did not look suitable, since they had these indentations. And, he says 'Arre, Saab- e to popat chaanch maare ne, etle Amrud mitthoo hoye. Jema chaanch naa maare, e mitthoo na hoye'. (Oh, Sir- when the parrot puts his beak to it, the guava is sweet, otherwise not). I did end up buying that one, and, really speaking, it was sweet..so, that was a nice sale and a nice bargain for him and me. The other fruit seller- I was buying apples- he was putting 1-2 pieces in the tarazoo(Yes, they still have that central balance with the weights on each side, one for putting weights, one for puttin...

'Hurrrrr Hattttt'- I heard this shout just in time, in between changing of the songs on my mp3 player, while I was on my morning walk. There I was, walking at my usual quick pace, the song'Dhan Te Nan'(Kaminey) had just ended and the next one was about to begin. I turned around, thinking it was a familiar shout, and, what do I see? 5 mega(Read'fat') cows, in 1 ahead of 2 ahead of 3 formation, and the first one just beginning to run, so that in the next 30 seconds, it would hit me(They never think, do they? Jo raaste mein aaye, kuchal daalo- whoever comes in the path, trample them) followed by the others who, naturally were about to follow their leader. And, behind them was this cowherd on a bicycle, who had done the shouting(It wasn't to warn me, though..haha). I was just able to cross over to the other side of the road in time and save myself a visit to the hospital.(And, one cow actually followed me, but the cowherd herded it back in time) That's jus...

Wishing everyone a Very Happy Diwali and a Bright, Prosperous, Scintillating New Year and Many More to come!! I read this in the local papers last week. We have all sorts of 'betsmen' in our great State. They bet on everything, from number of sixes and fours by a team, by players, in a cricket match to whether it will rain as normal or less or more during the rainy season. They even bet on the registration plate number of the next vehicle that passes by, as they sip tea at the highway dhaba. But, this one takes the cake, along with the icing: People actually bet on the number of squares (checks)that will be visible on the common man's shirt in the daily cartoon on the front page of Times Of India- the R.K. Laxman cartoon, which is always so timely, which says a lot and provides the first laugh of the day for many people including me!! A Honda City actually drives up in the wee hours of the morning, to meet a truck as it unloads bundles of Times of India in Rajkot and snaps ...

(Random pics from the net) I'm mystified. Travelling on Baroda's roads nowadays, I wonder why people want to honk so much? Even if the road's empty, they still go beep-beep,parp-parp,doggie bow-wow or some shrill noise which irritates the ears. Are they just trying to say 'look, I own a vehicle'? Similarly, if there's a traffic jam, they know that until the first vehicle moves, the ones behind won't be able to. Still, instead of waiting patiently, people from the second vehicle begin honking, creating a cacophony of at least 60 dB. Reminds me sometimes of the animals in Sayaji Park in the morning hours- one feels hungry and lets off a roar, and the rest follow suit, like a 'bhed chaal'(Sheep following the leader) --- Come to think of it, why don't the inventors of PC/video games make one on the traffic of a non-metro city like Baroda? It would be a sure-fire hit. Based on just my experiences in the last one week, we could have: ...

Just one of the amusing experiences I had on the flight: This one was as soon as we boarded the flight: - Ole Gujju Uncle(to steward): Chai-coffee kuch milega?(Will we get some tea or coffee?) - Steward(Who was non-Indian,but,knew some Hindi): It will take some time,Sir. - Ole Gujju Uncle: (Not hearing what was said): Chai kab milega? -Steward: Sir,I can't promise you,but,let me get all passengers seated and then I'll try and get you some. - Ole Gujju Uncle(Still not hearing): Look,this is my ticket- we have come from London and are going to Ahmedabad via Dubai. This is why I need some tea. - Steward: Let me see,Sir. - Ole Gujju Uncle: It is free of cost,ne? (those who are in touch with gujjus,will associate 'ne' with 'right'. Right,ne,Austy?) hehehe! More coming up soon.

Hi all! I'm in Baroda now. All as planned-reached at 08 AM yesterday. Lots of interesting things observed during the flight and at the airports. More on that shortly. So, hang in there. Will be around your blogs,soon. Need a good broadband service for home. Any suggestions? A service which also provides service after selling it.

I always get a nice laugh when I read the instructions on some products. This one is a gem: The – brand EMZ is we company excogiate a new series products. Its use convenient and novelty shape. In order to easily for you to use it, please read following instructions carefully before using: 1. Product characteristics: Function: Kill mosquito or winged insect, and lighting. Battery :High capacity free maintain Charge voltage: AC220V/50 Hz, Work voltage: about 2200 V Have electrical source protect switch, much more security Bulb: 4.2V/0.2A 2. Usage Instructions: a. Battery charge: Push the electric source switch to OFF direction, and push the plug perfectly in the socket of AC 220V/40 Az. And keep charging about 12 Hours that recharging direction light lighting. b. Before make use of it for the first time, please charging about 2-8 hours c. Kill mosquito method: Push the electric source switch to ON direction, p...

There's no pleasure like the fun of seeing a new movie in the hall. Neither a DVD(which releases after I've read at least a dozen reviews) or a pirated print(Arghh!Those colours) can replace the pure fun of seeing a fun (I usually don't see any other kind) movie in a good hall, Lamcy's halls being one of my favourites. I'd picked a side aisle this time, with only one seat next to it, hoping that no-one would take it. But, no such luck- a cap-wearing guy who insisted on putting his feet up on the seats in front(since they were empty) made me feel quite irritated. Why do people treat a cinema hall as if it's their property to spoil? (Come to think of it, they wouldn't spoil their own property like this). But, it was slightly better(there's always something to be thankful for, as I say) than last week's Dil Bole Hadippa experience of the 'wide' Uncle who should have taken two tickets to seat himself(That review coming up later), chomping away a...

Thought for the day: The four levels of comedy: Make your friends laugh, make strangers laugh. Get paid to make strangers laugh and make people talk like you because it’s so much fun…Jerry Seinfeld. (My comment: I wish I could be like that at all times, instead of just sometimes..haha) There’s lots to write about, but, since it’s our weekend coming up in 4 hours, let me write first about what made me smile/guffaw/laugh in the last few days: (As such, the mind’s a bit more light-hearted than usual, with Baroda on my mind. haha) The dialogue from a Hindi movie that went: - “We have to go for potty with Danish Pastry.” It turned out that he(Paresh Rawal or Anupam Kher, I’m not sure) was talking of having Pot Tea with Dinesh Mistry. 2. Anupam Kher’s jokes in ‘Perfect (Mis)match, a fun movie(review comes up later): one of them goes: Q: What does the Gujju call a Mercedes Benz? A: A Mari Sadi Bhens 3. One of the items on the menu of a restaurant here: - Soft drink(cane) Any guesses what that...

Thought for the day: A city is a large community where people are lonesome together. ‘They crawl out of the woodwork’- was my thought when I had spent hardly three months in the Purchasing Department. And, after 7.5 years, the thought still comes to mind every few days. I’m referring to a group of people that I find unique to Dubai, whom we in the construction field term as suppliers ( also referred to as vendors) of the various products we buy. And, the number of people I’ve met in 7.5 years is probably double(or more) the number I met in my whole life prior to coming to Dubai. The way this market works here, is very different from any other,including India. Each average/ good supplier keeps at least three nationalities of people in his kitty/payroll- a gora(As we lovingly call Brits/Aussies/Europeans,etc), a local/ Arabic speaking gent and an Indian (generally Keralite) or two(Second one could be Mangalorean) or three(could be any of the rest- Gujju, for example- kept as inhouse sal...

Front page snippet from the best-selling local newspaper here: The speed of finger and toe-nail growth has surged by nearly a quarter over the last 70 years, a new study has revealed. And, the modern diet-rich in protein from readily available fish,meat,eggs and poultry-may be behind the spurt. Researchers from the University of North Carolina(My comment-I'd love to do a Phd there-they have such interesting research topics) compared results to a study published by Oxford University in 1938.... The results revealed that: Big toenails now grow by more than 2 mm a month, compared with 1.65 mm in the Thirties. Thumbnail growth rate was 3 mm a month in 1938 and 2.06 mm in the Fifties study. The average thumbnail grows by 3.55 mm a month-an increase of more than half a millimetre over seven decades. Scientists monitored 195 fingernails and 188 toenails over three months. The results also showed that fingernails now grow by 3.47 mm every month-almost twice as fast as toenails. The nails o...

I hear so many interesting conversations,while having a mini-dinner(There's no other dinner after it,btw) at some of the restaurants here. And, not coz I want to-perish the thought!(hehe)But,coz people like to talk at such high frequencies that those around cannot help listening,unless they keep their fingers on,nee,in their ears or use earplugs! Anyway,so,there was this girl and a guy. The guy(as usual) was doing just the listening,besides throwing his two bits when the girl asked him for an opinion besides a 'grunt'. It seems she's been seeing a boy since the last five years. They had some argument a year back, and she did not talk to him since. So, some 'snippets': -I'm totally flexible. I can get married to any guy, and then break up and tell my parents if the marriage doesn't work out. - You know, I haven't talked to him for a year. And, when he finally called(See,He called,not her!LOL), he said' I'll take my revenge on you for not tal...

Day 1: 6 PM. ‘There are 23 people in the list. If you want to come, it’s your choice’. Day 2: 5 PM: ‘Token distribution begins at 430. Official time is 5’ Day 3: 430 PM: People crowding the counter, to get ahead of each other. Pushing, jostling. Feel sorry for the two people at the other side. Leave without waiting. Day 4: No show . Day 5: 8 AM. : Token no. 2. 9 AM : Starts. Any guesses what this is all about? Answers coming up later in the day. --- Answer: Posted: 16.09.09 That was me trying to get an appointment with the doctor at the clinic close to my house. I wanted to consult him for my recent frequent headaches. Day 4 was his day off,and, by that time, my headaches had disappeared. Well,maybe that's one way to cure an illness-see oodles of people at the doctor's and think-my illness is nothing compared to this!!haha!But,all's well that ends well,and, I finally saw him, he gave me a five day course, told me not to take stress and just 'be cool'. How cool is th...

The excitement is palpable. What began as a mega project on 04.04.04, is about to become reality . I refer, of course, to the Dubai Metro, which will begin operations on 09.09.09, with the first train, with an entourage of VIPs, being flagged off on 09.09.09 at 09 PM from Mall of the Emirates station to Rashidiya station(the last stop), with the in-between operational stations being checked out as well. Others will be able to travel on it from 06 AM, the next day. First began the construction of the elevated tracks on massive pillars, then the rakes, the railway stations, the underground part of the metro…and, the rest, as they say, is history. Suddenly, one day, we saw a blue train with five bogies, sitting idle on the tracks. Another day, the train could be seen moving slowly. And, as the days passed , the trains speed increased progressively, till the current moment, when the trial runs are probably going on at the actual speed of the train. There’ve been comments galore in the loca...

From: Cine Blitz, Sept'09.

Thought for the day: "One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important."…- Bertrand Russell Continuing further from where I left off, in memories of Dubai , specially now that Baroda beckons, here goes: Let’s see now- I had ended the last post at how weekends would go in learning the ropes at work. I spent only @ three months in Engineering. The market was somewhat dull at that time(Now that I’d arrived, I knew things would pick up, since God has decreed that I’m not supposed to get idle breaks in my life. LOL), but there were some interesting challenges that the then Contracts Manager (a Brit) had in the pipeline for me. One of them was a project that is a Dubai landmark- a project the Co was not able to handover due to the local authorities saying that drainage water (from drainage pipes running along the walls) coming on the pavement, which spoiled the beauty of this landmark. Nor were they willing to let these pip...

Thoughts for the day: - Winners are losers who got up and gave it one more try….Dennis DeYoung - When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion….Ethiopian Proverb - The difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care. --------- My amazing trysts with mutilation of the English language continue. This take-away restaurant place guy yesterday, says: - “Window closing- aircondition outside going ” (It took me a few seconds to understand that the window needed to be kept closed so that the conditioned air did not leak out) - “One dirham changing?” (This was a person asking a supermarket guy for change for one dirham) - “Idli dipping?” (LOL- I made that up, but, I’m sure, one of these days, I’ll hear these two words) ----------- Joke: Since we’re on English jokes, here’s one Back in Delhi when I was introduced to a Mr. Arvind Lele, he extended his hand and said 'Lele'. Taking his hand, I found it impossible to avoid replying 'Dede'.He had a Goan wife wh...

How many ‘cult’ movies have you seen? Movies that created a trend when they were released? Here’s a list of those I never did get around to seeing, perhaps : -Because I did not have the patience to stand in long queues. Yes, they did exist in the eighties and nineties. Have you ever experienced the fun of going to a movie hall and finding a board saying’ Balcony full’, or, just ‘House Full’? There were some halls in Baroda where hardly 50% of the tickets used to be sold at the counter- everyone was busy making hay while the sun shone- and, in some cases, the counter used to open for 10 minutes only. In such cases, we would know immediately that we had to visit the moongfaliwaala’s larri(groundnut sellers stall), or, the cycle/scooter parking area or the small restaurant snuggled away in the back of the theatre(depending on which theatre we were in) or just simply stand looking confused and disturbed till someone came shouting ‘paanch ka dus, dus ka bees’(Rs 5 ticket for Rs 10, Rs 10 ti...

Thought for the day: What other people think of me is none of my business. I get an average of 2-3 of these fraud emails these days, of people leaving funds in a bank, et al. But, this one really takes the cake. It comes from diplomatatdiplomate.net and goes: “The people that they funds are being hold down here at John F. Kennedy Air Port New York. Mr. President has called for the release and we has only Three jets here for our services which he gave to us. It is very important that i hear from you as soon as possible. Besides, we are in a meeting with the NY. high officials in respect of the release of the funds. I wait for your call. Mr. H*nch Wa*ry. 347-329-4683. H*nchw*rry@gmail.com Mr. H*nch W*rry Diplomat.” Now they have the Pres of the US of A and three jets involved as well. Talk of fertile imagination! LOL. ------------------- Which are the movies you just cannot resist, when they’re being shown, either on TV or on DVD? I’ve a number of them on the list. In this post, let m...