Some Sizzling Scintillating Speculations

Some gems I've come across lately: - "Do not use this chair for any other purpose than massage" ====================  - Today's menu: -Red Bins -Black Bins -Masala Singh ==================  - Please do not spit this area. ==================== - Have a great fun on the water boat. ==================== Was checking out my visitor tracker, and,apparently,these are some of the searches that brought people to my blog: Search Term 1 25.00% ideas to fool with fake birthday gifts 1 25.00% bhakharvadi recipe with photo 1 25.00% meri shirt bhi sexy 1 25.00% good recipe of poona misal Amazing,huh, what people search for, and,how it brings them to a blog.:) ==================== Till next time, then. Cheerio...got lots more to write about, but, all that in the next post(s). Which,if it isn't before 01.01...

Doctors-hospitals- hardly anything in these two words that would elicit a laugh. Unless it's the movie' Carry On, Doctor'. I saw this movie some years back, and imagine my delight when I found it available for download on the net. The movie's about 'Carry On' set of characters, playing their roles in a hospital. A majority of them, of course, are patients. There's this ole guy who's totally well, but, just wants to stay in the hospital to be away from his ever-chattering wifey. So, he keeps doing things to show that he's not recovering, like putting the thermometer in warm tea to make the temperature shoot up, mixing rum(or some drink) with his pee to make the combo blow up in testing, making the lab assistant remark'this guy's remarkable-he has rum running in his pee' or something to that effect. When his wifey does come for a visit, he puts on a stethescope, and she doesn't notice and keeps on droning for hours. Just like him, anoth...

In Baroda, we have these newsvendors who settle down on any platform they see, even under the banyan trees, and begin selling newspapers. One such guy sits in our area and I used to buy the IE(Ind Express) from him, while returning from my daily walks. On one of these days, when I reached his place, I heard this tete-a-tete between him and a lady: (It was all in Gujarati, of course) Lady: You didn’t deliver the paper today. NV(Newsvendor): Oh, I did. It fell into the ledge between the water tank and the wall. Lady: But we did not get the paper today. NV: I told you, I delivered it, but it fell in the ledge between the water tank and the wall.(With a small gesticulation) Lady: But I did not get it. NV: (Stands up now)..it fell in the ledge between the water tank and the wall(With bigger gesticulations, now, to demonstrate the wall and the tank) Lady: Oh,ok..*seems about to turn, but doesn’t*..oh, there’s no-one there. NV: *Again shows the space between tank and wall by gestures*..just g...

The shoe story: It’s amazing, what a simple shoe thrown at a celebrity like a President can do. The saga has begun with the journalist throwing his shoe at the Prez of the US. The whole world news, revolving around drab recessionist activity and pink slips, suddenly has a different fodder to chew over and bring the smile back to people's faces. Everything related to the shoe has become hot news now. There’s their size(10), type(loafers), the manufacturers(Rivals in Turkey and Lebanon) claiming that they made the shoes, and, the latest news- A Saudi Arabian man has reportedly bid $10 million for the shoes, claiming the “shoe of dignity” has “high moral status”, while an Egyptian man is ready to offer his daughter in marriage to the shoe-thrower. Then, there’s this website which has reportedly had twenty million hits, courtesy it’s online game ‘ sock and awe’ , all on the hurling incident. And, there's another Norwegian site as well, right here . They've made it more lifelike...

Memories of waiting at Ahmedabad Airport for the return flight to Dubai: I cannot remember when I’ve LOLled so much, internally. What happened is, this time, I was first in line for the security check when they announced it. So, once it was finished, I went and sat down at a strategically located seat where I could observe the mannerisms of people walking in for the check. So, what did I notice?( BTW, I noted all these- I don’t have such a sharp memory) . Needless to add, they use the manual metal detectors at Abad. - One guy’s cellphone began ringing and it was not just a ringtone, it was a whole Hindi song. He was so nervous he couldn’t switch it off. Finally, the security guy let him off. - Another guy walked from 5 feet back with his hands raised at 90 degrees- you know, the way a bird flies- it looked like he was going to make a landing on the security guy’s head - There was this extremely obese guy, wearing a sweater. And, the detector went beep beep at his midriff. So, the secu...

0500: Wake up. Yawn leisurely, have no tensions, do normal morning works. 0515: Have ½ a cup of tea 0530: Go to E.M.E. Temple for morning prayers. Sit and enjoy peace and silence for fifteen minutes after the prayers 0615: Return, read newspaper headlines if paper has arrived. 0630: Morning walk begins 0645: Stop to have a cup of ‘golden chai’, at the friendly neighbourhood teastall 0700: Reach Sayaji Park, take 2-3 rounds of the walking track, while listening to favourite music. 0800: Reach home, relax, read positive books, think pleasant thoughts 0900: Leave for self-owned bookshop-cum-cafe 0930-0100: Have pleasant time in bookshop, maintain PR with employees and customers 0100-0400: Return home, rest, have half hour of sleep, catch up with family, read a magazine or two 0400-0700: Return to bookshop, spend time reading, browsing. Continue writing jokebook and other books. Send off a Letter(or two) To The Editor 0700: Leave for home after checking day’s receipts 0730: Reach home with...

"What misbegotten madman would do that?" ...now,don't worry- I wasn't soo annoyed, but, the thought did come to my mind. What happened is, two days back, I was returning home from station side, on my trusty 2- wheeler Kinetic which has given more than ten years of service now, and, I suddenly felt a nudge on the backside- the scooter's backside, I mean, obviously!! I turned around, and there was no-one there. So, I continued going, and after five minutes or so, the scooter suddenly wobbled left-right and stopped. Thankfully, there was not much traffic around, otherwise I can well imagine the 'damaging' consequences. So, I noticed it was a puncture. And, dragged the heavy thingie (now, that's one time I regret having a kinetic!) for 1/2 an hour to the nearest petrol pump which also has a puncture repairer. The guy took out the back tyre, and burst out laughing!! On asking why, he took a pair of pliers, and pulled out, and pulled out, yes!!A nail nearly...

Some things never change...looking back at the time I was at Dubai airport, on 26th. (BTW,this flight was from the new Terminal, and it's pretty good..I won't say 'awesome',since I somehow find the original one to be more 'humane', somehow..more on that later) 1. People still rush to the boarding section, as soon as the announcement goes' Flight so-and-so, boarding now'. They all still rush to stand in a queue, even though the guy has said ' First Class and Business class passengers first'. 2. As soon as the flight lands, and,even before the aircraft has come to a stop, clickety-clack go a hundred plus seatbelts. People are sure that the flight is going to take off in five minutes,leaving them still on it. Or, they are in a hurry, thinking that if they rush, they'll get their baggage first. 3. I still have a smug smile on my face, when I see those who rushed ahead of me, from the craft,and onto the first bus, and, then,first in line at immi...

Hi,all!!*Waves*- from Baroda,naturally! Been here since the morn of 27th...but,the first three days,I was feeling too numb, watching the reel life drama unfold in real life. I refer,of course,to the Mumbai events- to even imagine such a disaster happening,makes me wonder what the point of life is-I mean, all those innocents,who were standing outside the Taj, CST, inside the Taj,etc- what did they do to deserve such a rude and sudden death?? And, the ire grows when you hear a minister say 'Aisi chhut put ghatnaayein hoti rehti hain' (Such small things keep happening)...indeed, if this is a small thing, I wonder what would be a slightly major thing for him? A nuclear fall-out,maybe?Or,earth disintegrating? ---- Amongst other things,I've lots and lots to write about,but,it'll all come in the coming days...suffice to say,the first five days have gone in(besides being glued to the TV set) going to the Doc twice, before and after getting the Xray, going to the physiotherapist...

I wish I'd seen this one ten days back!!:) ---- Isn't it great- how such simple things as a backache can humble you and make you realize the intricacies of the human body, the way the One Above has made us. Yes, I'm referring to a simple thing like a backache and how it can literally incapacitate us for it's duration! There I was, overdoing the walking/treadmilling/jogging bit.There I was, wanting to be a bit more helpful than usual and helping this friend who was moving to India, by picking up his suitcase with a jerk instead of in the correct way...turned out it was 26 kgs.And, perhaps it was the cause of my backache too, clubbed with all the other activities. But, all said and done, it gave me a good, forced rest. Two days of agony when at office because of the pending works and then two happy holidays(Friday-Saturday) to recuperate.  === Actions which I was forced to take, during these days, and, which I still follow, sicne they seem to be right: - Walk at a slightl...

Tell me,people,how do you deal with people who believe that conversation is a one way street only,with their way from their mouth to everyone else's ears,being the only route? Even though I'm more of a listener and observer, believe me, I do get the mood to talk (usually sensible talk, which doesn't veer round to making fun of others). But, there's this friend who believes otherwise...so, last week, we were going somewhere, and, it happened at least half a dozen times.. he insisted on only airing his views on everything,right from the right shopping to Dubai weather to the Emirates I D card requirements to Gujju epicurean delights to whatever.(As such, all these topics are a bore for me, since they don't involve books, mags, blogging,writing..LOL)..and,each time I wanted to get my two bits in, he'd again cut me off and begin his tirade. Well, anyway, as is my usual 'style', I decided not to speak(try to) any more, and just politely ho-hummed my way throu...

Munch on the above, while I decide how I plan to spend my weekend!!And, post,too!!

(Quip: That's what I felt like doing, today. Read on) ROFL....no,there's no reason for that bit of laughter...it's just that I've heard so many things from people-rumours or otherwise, about the effect the current world crisis seems to be having out here, that it was high time I had a good laugh,or, if not, just feel sad about people who've recently lost their jobs,been told to sit home on LWP,etc. Here's hoping things change for the better for  all, very soon. Amidst all the rumors and realities floating around, of the recession, of how it’s affecting people and projects, here and round the world, it was a refresher to see some humor related to this crisis. Amongst the ones I found funniest(Austy, I know you’ll enjoy these) , were: -What worries me about the credit crunch is that if one of my cheques is returned stamped ‘insufficient funds’,  I won’t know whether that refers to mine or the bank’s!’ -How do you define optimism? -A banker who irons five shirt...

While I try to bring back my mood to write, how about munching,nibbling,enjoying this one. It's too hilarious not to share...tarot card and tea leaves readers,beware.Incidentally, I spent nearly 1/2 an hour correcting the spelling,etc errors in this message.But then,the result's worth it,na? There are many ways to eat a masala dosa .But,did you know that  there  is a very good reason for doing that. It shows some traits of the person: Case 1:* *People who open the masala dosa and eat it*: These are the people  who are very open about their life. Their life is an open book. Everyone  would  know all about him/her.   Some people think that it is a gross way of eating but in truth,  these people are just portraying who they are and how their life is. Case 2:* *People who start from both end and approach the masala later*: These are the people who like to wait for exciting things to come to  their life. Sadly when the times comes, they are not too interested or just  do not know ho...

(Really inspiring, the above poem-I say it, early morning as well as before going to sleep and it works wonders, somehow!) I always feel that the best gems are found in the most unlikely of places! So, how about this erudite quote from Snoopy(Charlie Brown's doggie): Learn from yesterday         Live for today              Look to tomorrow                     Rest this afternoon! Isn't that nice? The simplest way to say' take it easy, but take note of the present, the past and the future, in your own way'. But, do we really do that? Is there any mistake that you made once,and you never repeated again? Like, getting angry for no reason and shouting at someone just to let off steam. Or, did you begin the day feeling all grumpy, and growled throughout breakfast, getting ready and at work? Did you ever think what impression your colleagues would have got of you, in this (rare/normal) phase of yours? Will they ever look at you the same way as they used to, with whatever amou...

Hi,all!For those who celebrated Diwali and New Year-hope they were great! What a long weekend everyone's had,back in India.Wow!!(Hope I'll be enjoying it too,next year) --- On to some Diwali heights: - Height of laziness: Sending a copy-pasted pic of Diwali wishes(or an ecard) to someone, instead of typing a simple'Wishing you a Very Happy Diwali and a Prosperous New Year', which takes all of a minute and adds a personal touch to it. - Height of a lil more laziness : Sending the email from your office id,so your designation,company name,et al appear on it,as also the traditional message of' This message is confidential and meant only to be read by the person to whom it is sent....' - Height of further laziness : Sending the same card to all the people on your messenger lists/address book. - Height of still further laziness : Someone to whom a card was sent, pressing 'Reply to all', and, adding his name to the wish, without deleting the original sender...

Hi,all! Here's wishing everyone : A Very Happy Diwali           and A Bright, Prosperous,Scintillating, Dazzling New Year ... And many more to come!! ..............AmitL (Note: Post will be 'add'ited later in the day!!

Hi,all- after a somewhat tiring week,courtesy the 'under the weather' health, things are pretty much back to normal now. (TGIF- and TGIS,tomorrow).So, what happened, that was newsworthy? Firstly, let me mention Keshi's latest post. She observed what I'd also observed on some of the blogs I surfed, recently-namely,that people seemed to be negative,moody..in other words,not too happy with life the way it has been treating them (I observed it mostly on the newer blogs I visited,not on my usual favourites who are pretty cheerful(And,that's why they're my favourites,na!), incidentally) As Keshi says, why do we consider our minor problems to be such major ones? Look around and see people in your circle-friends, family,et al-at least 2-3 or them will be struggling with problems which would be much greater in intensity than yours. By comparison, our problems(At least, mine) seem to pale in comparison. And, it always helps me in appreciating the way life has moved for me...

Hi,all...been a mite under the weather,lately-probably coz of the changing weather and the viral infections going around.So, I took two days off,as per Doc's recommendation.In a way, I think it's the body's way of telling one'Slow down-if you can't,I'll make you).  -------- Whew-only here would you find prizes being offered for anything under the sun.For example, you get to enter a raffle,if you pay your car-driving fines online. And,if you pay your water-electricity bills online, you also stand to win a prize in a draw. -------- Vocabulary deviations,better know as Freudian slips, always make me smile.So,how about these,which I read recenrly: - Salutary confinement instead of solitary confinement. - Familiarity breeds attempt. (Guys attempting to befriend gals) - Add assault to injury - Civil serpents(for someone bugged with our Public Sector employees)  And,how about a fractured quote like 'tip of the slung'?(Guess what that stands for?...