Sunday, July 26, 2009

Laugh of the day

I wonder whether you got this one some time back via email? And,maybe I posted it earlier?I'm not sure..the quip for this is' Know why Sachin is known as a thorough gentleman?'


And, Cyn-this one's for you-I'm sure you won't find this one 'MCPesque'...hehe!!Just kidding..hope u all have a good laugh.



And,in the meantime, let me enjoy the last day at work before the weekend,tomorrow,so that I can be fresh and ready to post,tomorrow evening or The Day After.

BTW, did you read this headline in one of our Indian papers-it says:

CAT to be taken by mouse now, not pen.

More views on that later.Cheerio!!

Happy Sunday




(Can you imagine anyone answering questions in a school exam like the above ones?)
Thought for the day: "The difference between an obstacle and an opportunity is our attitude towards it.
Every opportunity has a difficulty, and every difficulty has an opportunity." -- J. Sidlo Baxter

Weekends always provide some rest and relaxation and this one was no different.

Firstly, some new ads spotted during my morning/evening walks. These ads are plastered everywhere nowadays- right from electricity poles to divider walls of buildings under construction, to walls of existing buildings. Two which had me laughing away, were:

Available
For immediate possession
Executive Bachelor

(Keshi, did you roll your eyes yet, reading this one?*grins*)
Any guesses what this ad was all about? No, it was not for gigs of the olo type.

------------------------------------------------
Room- Bat Cat
To Let
Contact 050-
(I still didn’t figure this one out)
------------------------------------------------

My fortune for the week says ‘You will get back to the material aspects of life and living.’ I believe, I believe. Baroda beckons.
--
Are you addicted to smses? If you are, then you’re intexticated. This new word is for people, especially teenagers, who are addicted to texting and reading messages, especially when they drive. And, this new breed of people is supposedly more dangerous on roads than intoxicated ones.

Incidentally, the above is from today’s Open Space in Sunday TOI. My answer to a question is also there(ahem). Want to see that? Here it is(A bit of G.K. never hurts anyone, as I always say):

“What is the jump seat in the cockpit of an aircraft? A jump seat, officially known as an auxiliary crew station, is a seat in the cockpit for individuals not operating the aircraft. The term is also used to refer to crew seats in the cabin, which are occupied by a flight attendant or other cabin crew during take-off and landing. These cabin jump seats are typically located next to or near emergency exits so flight attendants can quickly open the exit during an evacuation. — Amit Loiwal, via email “

Another of my letters is in this month’s Health and Nutrition. A bit of motivation, I guess, to begin my other favourite hobby of writing to/for mags and papers again. (Austy, I see you nodding your head. Haha).

Jokes for the day:
--------
Inquisitive son asked his mother the following question:
'Mum, why are wedding dresses white?'
The mother looks at her son and replies, 'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'
The son thanks his Mum and goes o ff to double-check this with his father.
'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'
The father looks at his son in surprise and takes him on a walk around the house.
He shows him the fridge and asks him ‘what’s the colour?’
The son replies: ' WHITE '.
He does the same for the dishwasher, the washing machine, the stove, etc etc.
Then he tells the son: ' Is it clear, son? All household appliances come in white.'
-------
A little girl asked her father: 'How did the human race appear?'
The father answered, 'God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so was
all mankind made.'

Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question.
The mother answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the
human race evolved.'

The confused girl returned to her father and said, 'Dad, how is it possible
that you told me the human race was created by God, and Mom said they
developed from monkeys?'

The father answered, 'Well, Dear, it is very simple. I told you about my
side of the family, and your mother told you about hers.'
-------
Time for some PJs now:

Two cockroaches Gaana Gaa Rahe Thhe : "Aashiq Banaaya Aapne" ...

Dono Marr Gaye ...
.
Because Gaana "HIT" Tha ...

(For Keshi’s benefit: Two cockroaches were singing the song ‘Aashique Banaaya Aapne’..Both died. Because the song was a ‘Hit’.

Keshi, ‘Hit’ is a cockroach killer spray)
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Till next time,keep smiling.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Memories


Thought for the day: Even monkeys fall from trees.

I feel like reminiscing about my first days in Dubai. Why? The answer's down there somewhere. So, here goes(I promise I won’t make it too boring..haha).

The first thoughts of moving out of Baroda, came when my first company started asking me to think of moving to Mumbai, and, that made me think ‘If Mumbai, why not Dubai?’. As always, I only needed to think these thoughts and begin a job search and a friend called from Dubai asking whether I wanted to change over and move there. Three others from our group had already moved to the same Dubai Company. After a few agonizing days of waiting for the telephonic interview, the call finally came, it all clicked, and, after another few agonizing days, my visa came. By then, I’d already quit from my Indian Company.

Again, things clicked as I wanted them to, and I was relieved from my Indian Co on 31st December, 2001. After a week’s break, I left for Mumbai and reached Dubai on 9th Jan. Thoughts of what was ahead in life, some uneasiness included, were in my mind. But, as I was to find out, they were unfounded. (Always keep the faith, as I’ve learned in these last few years). A friend who had come three weeks back, came to receive me. He said he had already found temporary sharing accommodation for both of us in a room with a Gujju family. So, there went the first worry about looking for a roof above my head. We reached the area, Karama(I still stay in the same area). He dropped me there, and, since it was @ 10 AM, he went back to office, telling me that the company driver would pick me up by lunch time.

I’d stayed in sharing accommodation only once, during my three month stay in Abu Dhabi in 1997. So, it was not really new. We were in a sharing room. The Gujju family who were the main tenants kept the main Hall and the master bedroom with attached toilet for themselves. For us, the washroom was just next to the entrance, so we had to walk through a passage each time to reach there.( However, that family was in India on holiday at that time.) Anyway, I got used to that by the end of the day. The first day at work was fab- meeting so many new people, besides, of course, the people I knew.

The next day, we went in a Dubai bus, which, to me( used as I was to Baroda’s buses of those days with their torn seats and love notes scribbled all over the backrests and also the klick-klicking conductor pulling the rope to ring a bell for the driver(once to stop the bus, twice to let it move)), was quite a unique experience. We entered, and I couldn’t see any conductor. It turned out that the driver would issue the ticket directly from the ticket dispenser. Inside, I couldn’t see any way to stop the bus, try as I did. Then, I saw some yellow buttons, between every two seats, and realized that’s what would stop it. More unique features of these buses some other time.:)

Next day morning, I got up feeling quite refreshed. We went down- right opposite, there was a Cafeteria(As there are, all over Dubai), where our ‘staple food’ for the next three months was ‘ek upma aur do chai’ (The upma would be split into two plates). Similarly, lunch for the next few months(till we got fed up. LOL) was an apple, a 9 gm bag of chips and buttermilk). And, evening would be the thali(We had booked on a monthly basis, since it was cheaper, and, in those initial days, every dirham used to be precious(It still is, but, not as much as back then), since we had come on a low salary, courtesy our need to move out from the previous place and because the market here was not too good in those days. That put paid to my worries about whether food would be a problem in Dubai- it never is- there are oodles of Indian restaurants.

The next day came the first bombshell- the Engineering Manager who had interviewed me on the phone, told me that these were his last 10 days and he would be handing over charge to me. Since the field was much more vast that what I was used to in India, I spent the next few months working, working, working. The Thursday half-day would end only by 7 PM and Fridays would also be spent at work, collating everything. I learnt that in the International market, it’s every man for himself. No one will go out of their way to help you, so you have to learn what you can, yourself. (I decided to change that, though- and, happy to say, I’ve trained more than ten people in these last seven plus years, including ‘trainee managers’ as I call them. Hehe).

(Will post some pics, but later. Can't upload pics today, for some reason)

There’s so much more to reminisce about. Maybe I’ll continue some other time. The next post will be the Tag Austy’s been so kind enough to pass on to me!!!

Jokes for the day:

A fat man is in the bathroom pe*ing. He complains 'I am so fat I can't see my ***'.

Guy next to him says "Why don't you diet?"

He replies, "Why, what color is it this time?"

---

A sergeant and two men from his platoon went to a tavern near the base one night. The sergeant asked an attractive army nurse to join him in a game of pool. The nurse said, "I would rather play with your privates."

Monday, July 20, 2009

Happy Monday


A nice weekend..and,for a change, our first day at work is a Monday, like the rest of the world outside the Gulf. (And, of course,it'll end a day earlier, on Thursday..haha)

Are you looking for a way to lose weight? Kya aap motaape se pareshaan hain?( Don't I sound just like one of those TV shoppe ads??grin grin)

Want to shed those extra pounds? There's a simple solution, as I found out- in the current Dubai weather of 43 deg C+ and @ 70% or more humidity , you only need to don your Tees and jogging trousers/shorts (anything less is not permitted, except on the beach) and go out for half an hour. Or more, if you don't feel dizzy by then. You'll lose at least half a kg of weight. Come back, change, go out again for another half hour or maybe one hour, after, of course a nice drink of water to keep the water levels in the body normal. Good idea,huh? Trust me to find an optimistic side to even such weather. Well, there's just about a month or two to go before the weather reverts to the good ole weather(usually by Sep), so I'd better make the most of the situation!!:)

What else happened these three days? Watched a few of the good ole Laurel & Hardy classics. It's amazing- in these days of Seinfeld and According to Jim, the antics of these two comedians still remain supreme laugh-raisers. However, I've not been able to find one that I always found really funny-in that one, our heroes are travelling in a train, and like true blue Brits, they must change their clothes to night dresses, even though they only have one berth allotted to them. So, imagine the scene the whole night while they're changing. When they finally get a second to sleep, the guard shouts that their station has come. Anyone know which movie this is?(Or, maybe I'll just google it.LOL).

Fun-time now:
----
Little Johnny was talking to a friend, complaining about his Mom. He said "My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through her mental pause."
----
Santa and Banta fly to the south sea islands to study the natives. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work. A few months later Santa takes a boat over to the other island to see how Banta is doing. When he gets there, he finds Banta standing among a group of natives.

"Greetings! How is it going?" says Santa.
"Wonderful!" says Banta, "I have discovered an important fact about the local language! Watch!"
He points at a palm tree and says, "What is that?"
The natives, in unison, say, "Umbalo-gong!"

He then points at a rock and says, "And that?"
The natives again intone, "Umbalo-gong!"
"You see!", says the beaming Banta, "They use the SAME word for 'rock' and for 'palm tree'!"
"That is truly amazing!" says the astonished Santa, "On the other island, the same word means 'index finger'!"

-----

And,ohh,yes,I plan to be much more regular in posting, now.Just realized that it's six days since the last post. So, help me keep my resolve.:)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Are they serious?

I know going green is the in thing to do, but, Poo(p) Paper? And, not human poo(p)-it's Haathi Chaap-a particular brand of paper that is not just hand-made,but is made by elephant poop.
The paper, supposedly one of the most ecologically safe papers to make and use, comes in many bright colours and doesn't stink.(Why not, I wonder? Don't elephants eat fried stuff ones in a while?) For one, you don't cut trees. All you do is wait for the elephant(as per the article) to finish it's 250 kgs meal, digest it and drop 100 kgs of dung(No wonder they're overweight, is my comment- if the rest 150 kgs is absorbed each time). Then, you collect the poop, use water to remove nutrients from it(Use this nutrient-rich water as fertilizer) and convert the fibrous waste to beautiful pooper,nee,paper.

The paper can be coloured any shade, though the original colour of the paper depends on what the elephant's diet of the day was.



I guess collecting elephant dung won't be the worst job in the world, after all. Can you imagine retailers, franchisees, et al- all going into this bright business? And, what kind of taxes and duties would our government charge, I wonder?
-----
Again on unusual things, the latest 'in' thing(pun intended) in Japan is a man's br*. The company which brought it out(pun intended again) first thought it might not work(??) so they brought out only 50 pieces- they sold like hot cakes, and so they brought out 5000.. And, now it's a boo(b)ming(pun intended again) business.
-----
Yet another funny piece- people who swear can lessen the feeling of physical pain...volunteers withstood pain more easily when they swore, compared to when they used anodyne words, in a study at Keele University in the English Midlands. Ah well, to each his own, I guess.:)

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Trip-Last Part:Good ole Baroda

(Click to enlarge)

Thought for the day:

When you are successful
Your well wishers know who you are
When you are unsuccessful
You know who your well wishers are
.............................. ..............
Another thought:
Falling down is not defeat...
Defeat is when you refuse to get up...


I always wax eloquent about Baroda and each time I visit there, so, this time I’ll quickly skim through the details of the visit- the highlights, so to speak:

- Getting up at 5-515 AM, going to the EME Temple for the morning prayers.
What was interesting one day, was seeing the Panditji (priest) in spotless white jogging shorts and T-shirt. On this day, even though I (like the others) reached at 0535 AM, the prayers were midway already. After they ended, the Panditji came and said’ from today we will have prayers at 515 instead of 545, because the HQ feels that people involved in religious activity also have to be fit and fine. So, he would be going for morning exercises right after the prayers and learning how to shoot, as well.

How cool is that?
BTW, Austy, I managed to get at least one(maximum three) salutes from rookies each time I was leaving from there..haha.
------
- Going for a walk after the prayers, stopping at my regular chai ki larri(tea stall) on the way for the ‘special masala tea’, with adrak and all. One day he asked me why I come only for a few days then no visits for a lot of days. When I told him I stay in Dubai, he was suitably impressed- and the tea rate went up one rupee the next day. LOL.

- The walks in the park were great as ever, even though it was somewhat humid. I did take some pics. And, yes, I finally decided to try out the concoction the guy outside gives, nee, sells , just outside the park, in teeny steel glasses. I tried the ‘pancharatna’, which was a mix of juices of adrak, tulsi, and three other things. The first day, it tasted Ugh, but made me feel pretty good later.(Why is it that things that are good for you are always tasteless or of horrible taste?). So, that’s something I’ll surely make a regular routine once I’m back in Baroda.
-----
- Visiting my city haunts. First was the good ole watch repairer, who’s shop is in our hereditary home(not ours, now). He repaired both my watches for a sum of just Rs. 20/-. Out here, they charge 5 dirhams(65 bucks)to just check a watch and then the balance are repair charges.

Next was Canara Coffee House, which is that quaint ole place where you still get idlis for Rs 10/-, but, more famous is their Poona Misal(Sprouts with onion, sev, et al) for just Rs. 15/-. Amazing.

Next was Gurudev, which, like it’s name, is closed on Guruvaar(Thursdays)..another place maintaining it’s prices for South Indian food.

Next was Samrat IceCream, where I always forget my diet and take a Full Cold Drink with Icecream, Vanilla. It’s probably the only icecream I cannot resist, even with a diet going on. A must-try for all Baroda visitors. Of course, I walked an extra half hour those evenings, to take care of the extra kilo-ries.

Visiting this new place in Alkapuri, called ‘Varie-Tea’. They have all kinds of tea being served, besides other things. And, I naturally took the ‘matki chai’. Nice taste, naturally- nice price,too- 35 bucks.hehe..but, once in a while, sab chalta hai, I guess. And, India’s also reaching international levels, so why not for tea? Everyone else took something different- from Cold Coffee to hot chocolate, etc.
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- The visit to that haunt for book-lovers, Crossword bookshop. You can browse in peace, no pesky salesmen pestering you to decide, have a cuppa tea/coffee(Not this time, though, it was under renovation-that means, changed management. Since The Taj pastry shop, will have become Café Coffee Day by the time I visit next.

- The equally interesting haunt near the station, the Agarwal bookshop guy who still gives me 10% discount on any books/mags I buy and accommodates me 10/12 days visits by reducing the monthly reading charges.

- The two larri-based booksellers who sell copied or second-hand versions of famous books for less than 100 bucks. I got 5 copies of ‘The Secret’(Post on that coming up later) for people in India and here.(even though I have it’s pdf version for IT-literate people who don’t mind reading books on PC monitors)
------
I also visited 7 Seas Mall in Fatehgunj, checked out some empty shops, imagined how a BookShop would look.(remember my plans) and flourish there. (‘thoughts become things’…quote for that moment)
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- Day of return- Ahmedabad airport. Like last time, I entered the check-in area early, and was able to observe the people coming in for a security check, and, like last time, I wasn’t disappointed. Like seeing the guy who couldn’t help feeling tickled when the security guy frisked him. Like the rotund guy in whose case the security guy lifted his shirt to see what metal was on him, and found that it was the buckle, and, it was, well, quite unreachable due to the guy’s girth. The rest was a pleasant journey back, with nice memories. (Nah, no Business Class this time. Not enough luggage to justify to myself, you see. LOL).
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Heard of 3D ads? Well, they’ve begun making their mark. See this link. And, see the youtube video below, of how they’ll fool people with both eyes operational.

Coming up in the next post- shhh..it’s a secret.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Goa trip

View from the Resort Room..notice the free coconuts?
One of the fountains at the resort
Outside view of a room at the Resort
The entrance to The Resort

Thought for the day: Thoughts Become Things!

Day 2 in Goa:

The day dawned nice and bright. A lazy waking up, a nice half hour walk around the Resort and off to breakfast, which was as sumptuous as the day before. The rest of the day flew by, courtesy the wedding festivities. In the evening, there was another program, which began with two experienced salsa dancers demonstrating their skills for the first three dances and then demonstrated to those wanting to learn some basic steps. Great fun for all!

Then, the wedding- remember the pic I put up sometime back asking you to guess what the location was used for? Well, the wedding mandap was put up on it, with toughened glass top and all. Amazing! And, someone wondered what would happen if the fountains started suddenly.

That was day 2.

Day 3 was our ‘extra’ day at the Resort. Most people were leaving in the morning. We left a bit early, to do a tour of ‘South Goa’. Went to Agorda Fort, which is a nice historical fort from the outside, but the inside is just an empty area, with grass growing and all. As always, I enjoyed walking on the ramparts, imagining how they must’ve protected themselves at times of an invasion, and wondering how many people had fallen into the moat just outside. Then we went to 2-3beaches, Varca and Colva, if I’m not mistaken(There’re so many in a line- take a look!! It made me wonder how they named beaches differently, if they’re in one full stretch of ‘beachy area’. Since it was high tide, people were not allowed to go much into the water. Nor were the water sports allowed, which stop each year when monsoon begins.

We were met at one beach by a guy who asked us to scratch a card, and said we'd won 1 out of 3 prizes- an iPod or a portable DVD or a voucher to stay at one of their places, but, we'd have to go to his place of work to scratch the card, i.e. the resort for whom he did this promotion. I immediately said 'no need to scratch- it'll be the third option only, attached with various conditions, and we'll spend a boring hour listening to their resort talk'...and,that's what it was-but,we were able to get out quickly, after scratching the card proved what I'd said.

After this, we just stopped by to buy the local delicacies and returned to the hotel.

In the evening, we rented Honda Activas and had a good round of Goa- from the Resort to the Leela to Holiday Inn- grand lobbies these Hotels have, as well.( though I prefer the cottages kind of places. More cozy and realistic:))

Next day morning was our direct return train to Baroda-we bid adieu to all our relatives who were staying back a day or two more, and reached the station at 945 AM, turned out the train timing had been changed that day only, to 11 AM (from 1045 AM)..I was looking forward to this trip, since it's ages since I had a day journey in a train. And, good fun it was, except for the cramped space in AC III tier- coz the side seats have had a middle berth added and nothing could be more uncomfy than that. Anway, amidst tea/soups/lunch/dinner/bhujia/kheera(cucumber local),et al,a whole lot of tunnels and a 'start to finish' reading of 'The Secret'(Separate post on that coming up) with breaks in between, it was night time. Luckily, the train was late, so,instead of 3 AM, we reached at 6 AM. Not good, of course, for someone like me- I woke up at 300 thanks to my mental alarm and saw a station-thought it was Baroda, turned out it was only Valsad. I wonder why they have fast trains and then, make them stop for 1-1 hour at stations, if they're early? And, once they stop, they get delayed..arghh!!

Conclusions:
-If you go to Goa, don't book your hotel. Travel light, move around and find the place that suits you best.
- Don't hire a tourist taxi- take a 2 wheeler(Even cars are given on rent) and have a nice time exploring.

Ah well, that was Goa. Baroda part of the trip follows soon!!Have a nice day.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Good ole H2O



Thought for the day:: Every decision you make - every decision - is not a decision about what to do. It's a decision about Who You Are. When you see this, when you understand it, everything changes. You begin to see life in a new way. All events, occurrences, and situations turn into opportunities to do what you came here to do.
Neale Donald Walsch

- Would you buy a bottle of water for AED 250/-( @Rs 3250/-), even if it was crystal encrusted? Even I contributed my two bits to the article(See comment by ‘ayeayeal’) . Some of the other comments were very interesting.

What do you think? Are such status symbols worth it? The brand even has a 10000 Swarovski crystals encrusted bottle for those interested, costing just AED 15000/(Rs. 1,95,000/-).

I can imagine some of hoipolloi in our part of the world as well, having a kiddy, nee, kitty party(not much difference) and saying ‘Beta, zara woh do lakh waali paani ki bottle to laana’. (Son, could you bring that Rs 2 lakhs bottle of water?)
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The trip posts continue next time. Till then, cheerio!

Oh, here's another quote for the day:Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or to lose…..Lyndon B. Johnson