Thursday, July 31, 2008


Boss!! Big Boss!! What do you associate the term with, at work? Egoistic? Ego maniac? Corrupted with power? Self-opinionated? Biased? Well, which are the most funny ‘Boss’ dialogues you’ve heard? I could recount quiet a few, but, here’s the best(worst?)

- (This one, when we were trying to explain the economics of using black n white printouts, instead of colour printouts to office folks): “I’m the boss. So, I deserve colour printouts”.

- I’m the boss, so I’ll go in the lift first. (This, when there was space for only one person in the lift).

- Baroda railway station, at midnight: I’m the boss, so I’ll use the confirmed ticket, and use the berth. You may sit in the RAC seat. (This happened when I was a rookie at work, just below a year old at the had been my ticket that was confirmed.LOL).

- (This one was a Boss in my previous co, but, he was parallel to me, i.e. I didn’t report to him). I heard him telling his subordinate: Let’s not bother about Amit’s hassles. Let us look only at our pending work. (Not that I needed any help, of course!*smile*..I still finished my work much before them.)

- “ This is the largest room. This will be my cabin. The rest of the people can be adjusted in the balance open space “ (This,when we were moving to a new office)

- First we safeguard ourself,(Pehla pota ne saachavvaanu, he’d say, in Gujarati), then, our department, then, the company and lastly, the client.

And, some dialogues I’ve heard, in my current role. From other bosses, about their subordinates, of course.

- My man, >>> is a fool. He doesn’t think before committing. (When the 'man' had committed a lower price than the boss felt was correct)

- S, carry my laptop to my car, please. (For God's sake,man,I felt like saying-you're only 30 or so,what's wrong with your arms?)

- Then, there's this supplier boss, who walks in empty handed, while subordinate walks,nee, stumbles in with arms loaded with files and documents”.(Actually, the subordinate is also to blame..why couldn't he make two trips to their car?)

I guess such attitudes put paid to all fallacies and management programmes, which promote people working together as a ‘team’. I mean, if the Boss considers himself or herself to be much above his team, what would it do to the morale of the team? And, would he ever be able to earn their genuine respect, instead of their forced respect?

Frankly, I’ve been Engg Manager, in Baroda, as also being a Boss here. And, I can’t imagine adopting such a snobbish attitude. I always prefer to do work and get work done at the same time. Only then can a team meet deadlines, only then can you keep your team’s morale high. Plus, where I'm concerned,it keeps the brain cells ticking away furiously, instead of languishing!Do you agree?
After those ‘boss’ly thoughts, let’s progress to,well, lighter moments:

I saw this fax lying at our fax machine today, and couldn’t help grinning at it’s content.

It goes: “Subject: Purchasing Inquiring
(That’s why my eye went to it, but, it was addressed to someone else):

We hereby submitting I need some small cupboard in your factory products. Each one cupboard Dhs 20.00 in maximum price.”
Quiz for the day: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good..what am I?
Joke for the day:
Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants." Woman: "No thanks. There's already one assh*le in there."

Announcement for the day:
The Makers of Viagr* are announcing that they have developed a pill to increase lubrication in females. The pill will be called Niagra.

Till next time, keep smiling.


austere said...

I guess I've been lucky- other than the first two jobs which were pure hell, I've had completely fair and decent people to work with.

I and a colleague were traveling internationally for the first time ever, all wide eyed and TC laden- the big boss has the decency to give us spare change US $ at AMS and tell us we'll need this for the baggage trolleys once we reach.
So many instances.

Cynic in Wonderland said...

read this book called "e" by matt beaumont. brilliant potshots at bosses.

Keshi said...

u know wut Amit...I think Im the luckiest girl when it comes to work-mates and bosses. So far I've had THE BEST kind :)


Mona said...

Can't agree more ... some people thought by doing those attitudes, people will respect them. I had this manager, she loved making people's lives miserable to show that she has the "power". Rather than gaining the respect, people talked bad things about her. But somehow, she was proud?

p¡£®®£(X000nie) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Harsha said...

Quiz Answer : Nose

AmitL said...

Hi, are one lucky lady..:)Wonder whether you'll be the same when you become a Boss?Or,are you one already?:)
Hi,Cyn...tks for the reco..let me look for the book.:)
Hi,Keshi-lucky you..and,here's wishing you continue to have the best of the best bosses and work-mates.
Hi,Mona..yes,that's the typical boss.:)
Hi, I said,I have a set of smart readers here...absolutely right answer..:)