Tuesday, February 05, 2008

The strategically incompetent

Thought for the day: ‘He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.’…Paul Keating

I must share the latest phrase I’ve heard- it refers to some people as ‘strategically incompetent’. These people are that smart breed who, by acting dumb, get you to do their job for them, all the time looking bewildered while inwardly, they are grinning away at having proved the adequacy of the phrase’ there’s a sucker born every minute’. The term is not about coming up with a strategy that fails, but, a ‘doomed-to-fail strategy that succeeds because you’ve worked it all out to your advantage. So, what do you say, are you one of these smarty-pants or are you one of those who do their work for them?

Ooh…I must tell you about the biggest prize in the Dubai Shopping Festival (DSF). It is ‘an island in the Caribbean’.(Valued at AED 90 million) Last time they had a private plane as a prize, but, this time the piddly(by comparison) thing has been relegated to the second prize. What do you have to do? Not much, just book a property with this property developer, and pay the minimum number of instalments. If you’re lucky in the draw…wohoo! Read about this and other prizes right here:
Tidbits of knowledge time:

I also came across some interesting English phrases(Read’ good words’/ gaalis) while looking for a phrase which went ‘he couldn’t know…. from….’. They go:
He couldn’t know his brass from his woodwind.
He doesn’t know whether to scratch his watch or wind his as* .
He doesn’t know enough to pee downwind.
He doesn’t know shit from shinola.

The last one- let me add a bit of knowledge as to the origin of the phrase:
Shinola was a brand of shoe polish previously manufactured in the USA. The alliteration and the fact that the two commodities in the phrase could possibly be confused is the derivation. The distinction is well made; only one of them would be good to apply to your shoes and only particularly dim people could be expected to muddle them up. Of course, outside America, most people don't know Shinola from anything at all, as they've never heard of it. Even in America it would probably not be widely remembered but for this phrase.

I know some of you(most of you?) out there are in the software field, so, do these laws make sense?

Newton's laws of software engineering

First Law:
Every Software Engineer continues his state of chatting or forwarding mails unless he is assigned work by the manager.
(Keshi, should I add blogging? *smiles and ducks for cover*

Second Law:
The rate of change in the software is directly proportional to the payment received from client and takes place at the quick rate as and when deadline force is applied.

Third Law:
For every Use Case Manifestation there is an equal but opposite Software Implementation.

Bonus Law:
Bugs can neither be created nor be removed from software by a developer. It can only be converted from one form to another. The total number of bugs in the software always remains constant.
On to the end joke:

A gullible blonde called Fay
Almost ruined herself, so they say.
You may think it nice
She thought doctor's advice
Was three hearty males every day!
(I wonder if this one is a repeat?Shreya- advice pls. )

On a balmy spring evening a young man took his girl for a ride over the English countryside in his Austin. She cuddled and they made love, as do young couples everywhere. Finally they reached a secluded spot and the girl got out, walked over to a tree and awaited her boy friend. But he didn't follow her very promptly. Finally she called softly to him: "If you don't hurry up, I'll be out of the mood." "Hell," he replied, "if I don't get out of the mood, I won't get out of this Austin."


shooting star said...

nice read again...well...i do admit to getting people work for em sometimes....but only in dire situations...otherwise im my own woman!!!

Keshi said...

**an island in the Caribbean’

ur kidding me rite!


AmitL said...

Hi,Shooting Star-always good to see u around here(will drop by ur blog,shortly..hehheh)..nice to see u prefer doing your own work,usually.:)
Keshi,I'm not kidding. here's the ad:http://www.damacproperties.com/dsf/index.asp

And,that's not all-you can also get a bentley with each penthouse you buy,or, a BMW,as I said,with other apartments.

Alka said...

I am certainly the other one. But I want the art of looking vulnerable. :-) People like bailing out a distressed female. :-)

Arunima said...

thanks for the gyan on shinola. it is even nice for a name.

austere said...

You're buying?


AmitL said...

Hi,Alka-thou speaketh the truth-hehe...but,I can't imagine you being in the strategically incompetent group,your very valid reason notwithstanding.:)
Hi,Arunima,even I think the name(shinola)'s quite cute-haven't heard it in the past.
Hi,Austy- yes,I'm buying-just need a small loan from you..hehe..:)

Shreya said...

so honored to be your joke advisor, Amit! hehe.. but no, I do not think I have read that joke before... give us veggie jokes yaar!