Another of those days

Thought for the day: Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed!

(Quip: One of my mottos. That is, of course, without losing your optimism level)

It’s been quite some time since I recounted some of my ‘interesting’ telephone calls at work. So, here’s one of them:

(Phone rings. I pick up):

Supplier: Hello, Sir.
Me: Hello,Sir (Feeling more buoyant than I usually do towards evening time)
Supplier: How are you?
Me: Fine, fine.
Supplier: Did you get my quote for the dining tables and benches?
Me: Yes, I did.
Supplier: What do you think?
Me: (Slightly irritated now): What is there to think?
Supplier: You see, Sir. We quoted the table with four legs since it is eight feet long.
Me: Ok. So?(Irritated note visible in my voice now).
Supplier: So, would you like it with six feet? You see, the price of the two legs would have to be added. So, would we stand a chance? (Me, wondering: Is that 'stand' a pun?)
Me: It’s up to you.
Supplier: But, you must be having some preference.

(Now, please believe me when I say, no one ever asked for my expert opinion on table-making till now)

Me: You decide whether it needs four legs or six.
Supplier: But, Sir, you see, the price is very competitive with four legs.
Me: (Really bugged now): Look, man, it’s up to you. If you give four legs and it breaks, you will be the one going to site to repair it, not me.
Supplier:( Still persistent): So, Sir, I take it this means that four legs are acceptable?
Me: Look, give it two legs only and see if it stands. It’s your choice.
Supplier( Laughs): Sir, you joke.
Me: No. You are supplying it. Provided two, four, six, eight legs- finally you will be responsible and you get paid only if it serves it's purpose
Supplier: Ok, Sir. So you think I should go ahead with four legs?
Me: (Going 'Arghhh' internally) Thank YOU, SIR! (And, I lightly banged the phone)

(Post phone call- me wondering whether this is the kind of erudite dialogue I did my mechanical engineering for)

And, thus endeth another glorious telephonic day in the life of yours truly. I wonder how long my patience will last?

On to the end jokes:

"Johnny," the teacher started, "do you know what 'paranoia' means?"
"It's not a word, teach, it's several words," Johnny replied.
"Whatever do you mean by that?" "It's like when you go into a restaurant and a well endowed waitress with a low cut uniform reaches in front of you and says, 'does my paranoia'?"

(Hint to those who didn't get it: It's a pair, nee, a pun)
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There was the frustrated guy who made a movie about his wife's s*x life --"The Night of the Living Dead"
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"How is it I find you sleeping with my daughter?" stormed the outraged father. "I ask you, you little creep, how is it?!" "Why, just great, sir," replied the calm young man, "just great!"
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Till next time, keep smiling