Five Questions

Thought for the day: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.

Sometimes, reading one's own past posts can be a delight(Ahem!) . I did that, when I was feeling a bit tired earlier in the day. And, came up with some gems. So, for those who missed them, here goes:

This was an article in a local mag.Dinglish,is,simply put,Dubai English. It says that many Britishers, who return to their homeland, find it difficult to remember their root language,because,in the words of one of them'I found the range of my vocabulary had diminished and my grammar had become simplified'. That line made me go through the whole article,and,it brought out some fun facts.

Local linguists believe that Dubai English will be here any moment now,though what Dinglish will sound like is a hard call.Options: E.L.F.(English as a Lingua Franca) ,like a U-certificate English,with the difficult words removed.

School teachers are coming from all over the globe,and kids are picking up an amalgam of accents,says another person.And,I can vouch for that,for adults,too.LOL. Words like ' How're u,mate'?,'How's it going'? are commonplace in Dubai.

Other common words are: Khallas,Habibi,Yani,Afwan,Kachhra,Yaar,Kiasu,Mafi Mushkila,...I guess all those with a sprinkling of Indian/Urdu,would understand the meaning of these words,but,using them in daily life would not be so appealing,perhaps.

People explain their requirements at shops with words like' Hand socks'(for gloves),a two-way street is called a 'coming and going road'....this person also objects to everyone using phrases like 'have a nice day' in the evening-she says it has no meaning,when spoken so late in the day. It's just like some people in our office always go 'good morning' ,whatever time of the day it is-it becomes a sort of trademark for them.

Some words which are likely to be a part of Dinglish:
Walla: The shortest two syllable word, to say' You're kidding', 'No way', 'You don't say'.
Yaar: This word,of course,is Hindi and expected to enter the next UK Collins dictionary.
Yella: come on.
Yani: Of course,it means' I mean', or,'that is to say'.
'Afwan': 'Dont mention it',or,'you're welcome.'
Backside: No,it doesn't stand for the literal bum,er,backside. In this place,it stands for the entire rear of a building.
How are you?: Ugh, a phrase I've come to hate, as many of u know.....I answer this query perhaps two or three dozen times a day.
Habibi: Arabic literal translation'My dear', or' Darling', however, in Dinglish,it'll stand for ' My friend', 'My brother'.
Ja: South Africans: Means: Yes.
Khallas: Of course,finished.
Khalli-valli: Never mind.
Kiasu: Singaporean English: The dread that other people are doing better or having more fun.
Mafi Mushkila: No problem. (Mafi Filuss: no money)
Not on his seat: LOL. Of course,it stands for 'not at his desk'.
Same,same: Yeah,yeah
Shukran: Thanks
Seeda: Straight.
Tell me: Encouragement to the other person on telephone to keep blabbing.
Kaisa hai,teek hai: LOL...How are things,all ok.
Kacchra: Not good.
Today itself: Meaning, Today without fail. But, if someone promises' Today,Inshallah', you can forget it,coz he means, God willing, you'll get it today'- coz it means he doesn't want to commit anything from his side.
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Another part of a post of year 2004:

To end Friday evening, here's a brief encounter with the friendly neighbourhood DVD guy, who landed up at my doorstep.
Him: DVD, Sir?
Me: Any new, good ones?
Him: (Opening bag) : Yes, Sir, Yes, Sir.
(Takes out a set from his bag).
Me: Let me check, please)
Him: (Too eager to make a sale): Points to one DVD: Nudie, my friend, Nudie.
Me: I don't want Nudie, my friend.
Him :No, no, Nudie, my friend.
Me: For God's sake…….
Him: No English Speakee, Sir…
Whew… Anyway, got one of my favourites: Anger Management, so the dialogue was not a complete waste.

And, thus endeth another Friday holiday in Dubai. Time to watch another week fly by.

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And another extract from a past post of 2004:

How would you like these questions to be answered,ladies? And,gents,how'd you answer them? I'll give the answers next time:

The five questions are:
1 - "What are you thinking?"
2 - "Do you love me?"
3 - "Do I look fat?"
4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
5 - "What would you do if I died?"

Another Question: why are the above questions unique?
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End jokes:

You know you are a no-frills airline when:
1)Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.
2)The captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
3)When they pull away the ladder/walk-way, the plane sags to that side.
4)The captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
5)No movie. Don´t need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes!
6)You have to pay extra one buck to use the bathroom,to the steward sitting outside with a collection box. 7)You have to pay extra ten bucks deposit(Non-refundable if used) for the emergency oxygen masks.
8)You ask the captain how often their planes crash and he says, "I dont keep track anymore!"
9)You see a man with a gun, but he´s demanding to be let off the plane!

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From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
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Till next time,keep smiling.