Jokes,puns,and dialogues

How to get rid of your wife(If you want to):

A man walks in a bank, pulls out a gun, and robs the bank...Then he turns around and asks the next customer in line, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The customer replies, "YES!"

The robber raises his gun, points to his head and BANG!!!!!... shoots him in the head and kills him!

He then moves to the next customer in line and says to the man, "DID ... YOU ... SEE ... ME ... ROB THIS BANK????"

The man calmly responds, "No ... But My Wife Did!"
-----------
Solitaire, thanks for giving me this idea. Solitaire asked co-bloggers to name their favourite clichéd dialogues from Hindi movies.

Going a step further, I began thinking of the various individual stars and their clichés:(And,I'm not referring to the most famous Gabbar dialogues,et al...they're on everyone's list):

So, here goes(The ones which instantly come to my mind): (More additions to the list are welcome)

Talking of person-al cliches:

My favourites have been Prem Chopra's dialogues-unique in all ways, especially the way he would twist his lips, smack them, and say with a sneer, with utter disdain for the heroine/hero. They always elicit a laugh from me, however menacingly he says them):

(With Literal Translations for Keshi's benefit):

- Prem naam hai mera!Prem Chopra! (Prem is my name-Prem Chopra)
-Main woh bala hu jo sheshay se pathar ko todta hun(I'm that bala which breaks stones with a mirror)
- Nanga nahaayega kya aur nichodega kya(The nudie-what will be bathe and what will he wring.LOL)
- Gayi bhains paani main (The bull's gone into the water)
- Gaay poonch uthayegi to gaana nahin gaayegi - gobar hi karegi(When the cow wags it's tail, it does not sing a song-it only shits)
---
-Shatrughan sinha" Abbe ChaparGanju!" (You dumba*s)
---
Keshto Mukherjee in his movies "Hi-HEEYAAHH!"
---
Tiku Talsaniya - "Ouff! Yeh kya ho raha hai"(ouff..what's going on?)
---
Shakti Kapoor:
Aaa-ooo-uuu. (I think Himesh Reshamiya got his inspiration from this)
---
Iftikhar:
Vijay/Ravi/…., Kanoon ko apne haath mein mat lo. Isko iski sazaa kanoon dilwaayega. (Don't take the law in your hands. The law will punish him)
---
All filmi chowkidaars : " Shhalaam Shhaab!"( Salaam, Sir)
---
Courtroom judge:
"Gawahon key bayanat aur saboton ko madde nazar rakhtey"(Looking at what the witnesses have said and the various proofs available)
" (Hero) ko baaizzat bury kiya jaata hai"(BANG goes the gavel) (The hero/heroine is hereby acquitted of all charges)
---
Daffynition:

Coffee: Break Fluid

Quote: Be like a giraffe. Stick your neck out and reach higher than all the
others.

Pun-ny ad:

Yoga Center Positions Available

Pun-ny book title:

"My Life In Crime" by Upton O. Goode

Another Daffynition:
Frustration is the first time you discover you can't do it the second time. Panic is the second time you discover you can't do it the first time.

Till next time,keep smiling,without getting,err,frustrated!!