Some Sizzling Scintillating Speculations

Some gems I've come across lately: - "Do not use this chair for any other purpose than massage" ====================  - Today's menu: -Red Bins -Black Bins -Masala Singh ==================  - Please do not spit this area. ==================== - Have a great fun on the water boat. ==================== Was checking out my visitor tracker, and,apparently,these are some of the searches that brought people to my blog: Search Term 1 25.00% ideas to fool with fake birthday gifts 1 25.00% bhakharvadi recipe with photo 1 25.00% meri shirt bhi sexy 1 25.00% good recipe of poona misal Amazing,huh, what people search for, and,how it brings them to a blog.:) ==================== Till next time, then. Cheerio...got lots more to write about, but, all that in the next post(s). Which,if it isn't before 01.01...

Doctors-hospitals- hardly anything in these two words that would elicit a laugh. Unless it's the movie' Carry On, Doctor'. I saw this movie some years back, and imagine my delight when I found it available for download on the net. The movie's about 'Carry On' set of characters, playing their roles in a hospital. A majority of them, of course, are patients. There's this ole guy who's totally well, but, just wants to stay in the hospital to be away from his ever-chattering wifey. So, he keeps doing things to show that he's not recovering, like putting the thermometer in warm tea to make the temperature shoot up, mixing rum(or some drink) with his pee to make the combo blow up in testing, making the lab assistant remark'this guy's remarkable-he has rum running in his pee' or something to that effect. When his wifey does come for a visit, he puts on a stethescope, and she doesn't notice and keeps on droning for hours. Just like him, anoth...

In Baroda, we have these newsvendors who settle down on any platform they see, even under the banyan trees, and begin selling newspapers. One such guy sits in our area and I used to buy the IE(Ind Express) from him, while returning from my daily walks. On one of these days, when I reached his place, I heard this tete-a-tete between him and a lady: (It was all in Gujarati, of course) Lady: You didn’t deliver the paper today. NV(Newsvendor): Oh, I did. It fell into the ledge between the water tank and the wall. Lady: But we did not get the paper today. NV: I told you, I delivered it, but it fell in the ledge between the water tank and the wall.(With a small gesticulation) Lady: But I did not get it. NV: (Stands up now)..it fell in the ledge between the water tank and the wall(With bigger gesticulations, now, to demonstrate the wall and the tank) Lady: Oh,ok..*seems about to turn, but doesn’t*..oh, there’s no-one there. NV: *Again shows the space between tank and wall by gestures*..just g...

The shoe story: It’s amazing, what a simple shoe thrown at a celebrity like a President can do. The saga has begun with the journalist throwing his shoe at the Prez of the US. The whole world news, revolving around drab recessionist activity and pink slips, suddenly has a different fodder to chew over and bring the smile back to people's faces. Everything related to the shoe has become hot news now. There’s their size(10), type(loafers), the manufacturers(Rivals in Turkey and Lebanon) claiming that they made the shoes, and, the latest news- A Saudi Arabian man has reportedly bid $10 million for the shoes, claiming the “shoe of dignity” has “high moral status”, while an Egyptian man is ready to offer his daughter in marriage to the shoe-thrower. Then, there’s this website which has reportedly had twenty million hits, courtesy it’s online game ‘ sock and awe’ , all on the hurling incident. And, there's another Norwegian site as well, right here . They've made it more lifelike...

Memories of waiting at Ahmedabad Airport for the return flight to Dubai: I cannot remember when I’ve LOLled so much, internally. What happened is, this time, I was first in line for the security check when they announced it. So, once it was finished, I went and sat down at a strategically located seat where I could observe the mannerisms of people walking in for the check. So, what did I notice?( BTW, I noted all these- I don’t have such a sharp memory) . Needless to add, they use the manual metal detectors at Abad. - One guy’s cellphone began ringing and it was not just a ringtone, it was a whole Hindi song. He was so nervous he couldn’t switch it off. Finally, the security guy let him off. - Another guy walked from 5 feet back with his hands raised at 90 degrees- you know, the way a bird flies- it looked like he was going to make a landing on the security guy’s head - There was this extremely obese guy, wearing a sweater. And, the detector went beep beep at his midriff. So, the secu...

0500: Wake up. Yawn leisurely, have no tensions, do normal morning works. 0515: Have ½ a cup of tea 0530: Go to E.M.E. Temple for morning prayers. Sit and enjoy peace and silence for fifteen minutes after the prayers 0615: Return, read newspaper headlines if paper has arrived. 0630: Morning walk begins 0645: Stop to have a cup of ‘golden chai’, at the friendly neighbourhood teastall 0700: Reach Sayaji Park, take 2-3 rounds of the walking track, while listening to favourite music. 0800: Reach home, relax, read positive books, think pleasant thoughts 0900: Leave for self-owned bookshop-cum-cafe 0930-0100: Have pleasant time in bookshop, maintain PR with employees and customers 0100-0400: Return home, rest, have half hour of sleep, catch up with family, read a magazine or two 0400-0700: Return to bookshop, spend time reading, browsing. Continue writing jokebook and other books. Send off a Letter(or two) To The Editor 0700: Leave for home after checking day’s receipts 0730: Reach home with...

"What misbegotten madman would do that?" ...now,don't worry- I wasn't soo annoyed, but, the thought did come to my mind. What happened is, two days back, I was returning home from station side, on my trusty 2- wheeler Kinetic which has given more than ten years of service now, and, I suddenly felt a nudge on the backside- the scooter's backside, I mean, obviously!! I turned around, and there was no-one there. So, I continued going, and after five minutes or so, the scooter suddenly wobbled left-right and stopped. Thankfully, there was not much traffic around, otherwise I can well imagine the 'damaging' consequences. So, I noticed it was a puncture. And, dragged the heavy thingie (now, that's one time I regret having a kinetic!) for 1/2 an hour to the nearest petrol pump which also has a puncture repairer. The guy took out the back tyre, and burst out laughing!! On asking why, he took a pair of pliers, and pulled out, and pulled out, yes!!A nail nearly...

Some things never change...looking back at the time I was at Dubai airport, on 26th. (BTW,this flight was from the new Terminal, and it's pretty good..I won't say 'awesome',since I somehow find the original one to be more 'humane', somehow..more on that later) 1. People still rush to the boarding section, as soon as the announcement goes' Flight so-and-so, boarding now'. They all still rush to stand in a queue, even though the guy has said ' First Class and Business class passengers first'. 2. As soon as the flight lands, and,even before the aircraft has come to a stop, clickety-clack go a hundred plus seatbelts. People are sure that the flight is going to take off in five minutes,leaving them still on it. Or, they are in a hurry, thinking that if they rush, they'll get their baggage first. 3. I still have a smug smile on my face, when I see those who rushed ahead of me, from the craft,and onto the first bus, and, then,first in line at immi...

Hi,all!!*Waves*- from Baroda,naturally! Been here since the morn of 27th...but,the first three days,I was feeling too numb, watching the reel life drama unfold in real life. I refer,of course,to the Mumbai events- to even imagine such a disaster happening,makes me wonder what the point of life is-I mean, all those innocents,who were standing outside the Taj, CST, inside the Taj,etc- what did they do to deserve such a rude and sudden death?? And, the ire grows when you hear a minister say 'Aisi chhut put ghatnaayein hoti rehti hain' (Such small things keep happening)...indeed, if this is a small thing, I wonder what would be a slightly major thing for him? A nuclear fall-out,maybe?Or,earth disintegrating? ---- Amongst other things,I've lots and lots to write about,but,it'll all come in the coming days...suffice to say,the first five days have gone in(besides being glued to the TV set) going to the Doc twice, before and after getting the Xray, going to the physiotherapist...